Mark Glaze, a third-year law student at George Washington University, turned on the television three weeks ago and started seething. There, on his screen for the umpteenth time, was Jonathan Turley, a GWU law professor who has been a ubiquitous talking head during the Monica Lewinsky scandal. "Turley was saying that Clinton should be impeached for conduct incompatible with his job -- like lying to staffers -- even if the president didn't violate any laws," Glaze recalls. That struck Glaze, a Clinton supporter, as profoundly galling. After all, Turley's job is teaching law, not opining on television, and several of Glaze's fellow students had been grousing to him that Turley was too busy nurturing his pundit career to focus on them. Glaze's question: If Turley thinks that neglecting professional duties is grounds for dismissal, shouldn't he, too, be fired? Glaze decided to put that directly to Turley -- and conduct a devious little experiment at the same time. On Sept. 11, he left the professor a phone message identifying himself as a GWU student and asking for an appointment. Thirteen minutes later, his roommate dialed the same number and identified herself as a producer at "ABC World News Tonight," which she is not. Glaze's call was not returned, he said. But the message from the "producer" was returned 32 minutes after it was left, his roommate said. Two hours later, Turley called again. "... It's Jonathan Turley," he said on the message tape, according to a transcript provided by Glaze. "I just got back to my office. I don't know if you've been trying to reach me. If so, we should talk." Turley would not comment about Glaze's mini-hoax. Instead, he referred a reporter to a pair of memos he sent Glaze in which Turley stated he had no record of Glaze's call. He also wrote that even though the week in question was particularly hectic -- his wife gave birth to a son and there were numerous court filings in a Monica Lewinsky-related legal case -- he was still able to meet with students. And since Glaze has never been a student of Turley's, he's hardly obliged to make time for him. At minimum, however, Glaze can prove that he called Turley. Phone records from his day job at a local law firm show that on Sept. 11 he placed a call lasting 25 seconds to Turley's secretary's line, to which Turley's voice mail refers callers seeking an appointment. But the highlight of Turley's memos comes when he implies Glaze is just angling to get his name in the newspaper, an allegation that raises a nearly comic pot-and-kettle problem. Turley has been quote-mongering throughout the Lewinsky matter, primarily to offer soothing justifications of Kenneth Starr's latest stratagems. Turley showed up on television 39 times between January- and mid-August, according to a Time magazine compendium of most active Lewinsky kibitzers. He placed seventh, thanks in large part to 10 consecutive Sunday talk show appearances. Turley's nonstop exposure has also irked other GWU professors, who are privately grumbling that his punditry on the scandal is woefully shabby and a bit of an embarrassment to the school. As others have pointed out, Turley isn't exactly an expert on constitutional matters; he has spent the bulk of his career focusing on environmental law and torts. WEIGHING IN ON IMPEACHMENT Standing on the steps of the Rayburn House Office Building, Larry Klayman last Monday delivered Judicial Watch's own impeachment report to Congress. As might be expected from a conservative group that has sued the administration more than a dozen times, Klayman and his colleagues have come to this grave conclusion: The commander-in-chief must go. To jail, preferably. The "Interim Report," as the document is titled, accuses President Clinton of a few rap sheets' worth of high crimes -- few of them Monica Lewinsky-related -- including bribery, graft, "likely" breaches of national security and theft of government services, not to mention civil rights violations and misuse of several federal agencies. For good measure, Klayman claims Clinton might have violated a federal racketeering law. In sum, the report alleges, the administration has been running "a criminal enterprise from the White House to obtain and maintain hold on the Office of the President of the United States."

The report lacks the sexual explicitness of the bodice-ripper published by the independent counsel's office, but it has breadth and hyperventilates with umbrage. Depositions and discovery evidence gathered in a slew of Judicial Watch cases are rehashed in chapters titled "IRS-Gate," "Commercegate/Chinagate" and "Trustgate." (The latter covers alleged misuse of Clinton's legal defense fund.) But some of the most riveting reading is found in the "Filegate" chapter, which details allegations that the administration illegally obtained the personal FBI files of top Republicans. On Page 21 there's this keeper, a reprinted transcript from "This Week With Sam Donaldson and Cokie Roberts" in which former White House aide George Stephanopoulos discusses how the White House might counterattack GOP lawmakers stoking the Monica Lewinsky scandal. "And I think that in the long run, they have a deterrent strategy on getting a lot of ... {FBI files}," the report quotes Stephanopoulos as saying. Sounds incriminating, except that the last two bracketed words are Judicial Watch's. On the actual show, according to a transcript, Stephanopoulos is interrupted by Sam Donaldson and doesn't get to finish his sentence. What was the former Clinton aide going to say? Nothing about FBI files, he explained to Klayman in a March deposition in the Filegate case, which was included in the mass of documents Klayman gave to Congress. "Had I not been interrupted, I suppose I would have said something, a lot of information on their adversaries,' but that has nothing to do with FBI files. I never mentioned FBI files," he said. In a faxed reply Friday, Klayman defended the use of brackets as "standard practice in court pleadings," which, in this instance, he used to indicate "the lawyer's interpretation of what Mr. Stephanopoulos meant." Because Stephanopoulos had just told Sam about a historical controversy involving misused FBI files, Klayman helpfully filled in what he believed were the missing words. And what of Stephanopoulos's alternative explanation in his deposition? Klayman says he's lying and points to a court ruling stating Stephanopoulos wasn't truthful about producing documents. If he would lie about that, Klayman's thinking goes, no doubt he was lying about the FBI files, too. QUICK HITS Duane, Morris & Heckscher's booming D.C. outpost has added five partners to its 14-lawyer operation, expanding its health, FDA and international trade practices. The formidable Sheila Slocum Hollis, local managing partner of the Philadelphia-based firm, said the Washington office plans to grow to 50 lawyers within the next three years. Zapruder, Pies and Fischer, a boutique tax firm, has joined the D.C. office of Baker & Hostetler, the Cleveland-based mega-firm. CAPTION: By one count, GWU professor Jonathan Turley was on TV 39 times from January to mid-August. ec