"Knock Knock. How do you do, sir. Could I interest you in our latest enchanced neutron bomb?"

"What do want with a neutron bomb?"

"This is the best thing to come along since the invention of synthetic potato chips. The neutron bomb is not really a bomb, but a artillery shell with a low-yeild atomic capability."

"Thank you very much but I've got all the atomic weapons I need."

"Please don't shut the door until you've heard me out. The neutron bomb is a clean weapon."

"What does that mean?"

"It means, sir, that it kills people but it doesn't destroy property. You can fire one of these into a city or town and walk in the next day and find almost every building intact. Since this has just been developed, you would be the only one to own a clean bomb on you block. You would be the envy of everyone in your neighborhood."

"I don't know. It sounds interesting but I've been spending so much money on weapons, lately I'm not sure I could afford a clean bomb."

"Let me show you our catalog. Look at the size of the neutron bomb. You can put it in your station wagon, and fire it from any U-Haui. This is not a luxury item, but an absolute necessity. As a major power you can't do without it."

"That's what you told me about the B-1 bomber."

"Forget the B-1. Think of the environmental aspects of the neutron bomb. You don't have to worry about dirty fallout any more. You don't have to mess with a lot of rubble or deal with radiation for years. After you kill everyone you can walk into a town in 6 hours and it will be as clean as a whistle. Your troops can set up an officers, club and a USO in a matter of days."

"It does sound interesting, but isn't there some arms limitation about a clean bomb?"

"Absolutely not. There is nothing in the SALT agreement about owing a neutron bomb. This not a strategic weapon such as a missile shell that can be used by your ground forces in the same manners as a flame thrower or a tank."

"Does the other side have a neutron bomb?"

"They do not. That's what makes it such an appealing weapon. We're the only ones manufacturing them and we have the ptent on it. If you buy it we assure that you will be ahead in the arms race."

"There is only one problem. If I have clean bomb and the other side doesn't, what would prevent them from using a dirty bomb to get even with me?"

"That would be against the rules of nuclear warfare. After all, if you're not destroying their property why should they get mad enough to use a dirty bomb?"

"You make it sound so simple. But there must be a catch in it somewhere. If I was the other side and I didn't have a clean bomb, I'd use everything I had, just to get even."

"But that would be all-out war. The beauty of the clean bomb is that the war could be limited to just armed combatants. You can pinpoint a neutron bomb to just hit the target area. Think of all the civilian lives you could save.

"How much is it?"

"It comes to only a few cents a day for every man, woman, and child in the United States. One small war and it will pay for itself."

"All right. I'll buy it. But if I use it, how can I be sure that the other side won't throw a dirty bomb at me."

"We guarantee it. If you use a clean bomn and the other side retaliates with a dirty one, we'll give you your money back with no questions asked."