I'd WALK a kilometer for a Camel.

Have it your way - a juicy 110-grammer with cheese. Just think, 100 milliliters does the whole wash. Fifty kilograms of fun ... that's my little honey bun.

"The change to metric is a psychological thing," says Mike Thomas, spokesman for D.C.'s Metric Council.

"But it's like taxes. Everybody fights it, but sooner or later they do it anyway."

So you've managed to avoid those little pencil cups showing metric measurement. You look the other way when the thermometer registers celsius. After all, this is AMERICA. They can't do this to us.

In case you've been in a coma for the last three years, the U.S. Metric Conversion Act (signed in 1975) says the change is voluntary, with no specific timetable. 95 percent of the world's population is already using or converting to the metric system. But look at it this way - if they can learn English, we can learn metric. As Mike Thomas put it, "People learn by doing."

Two years ago, a metric Bible was published in England. "The Good News Bible" even dared to meter-ize the God-given dimensions of Moah's Ark - now 133 meters long. In 1976, General Motors announced that all new cars would be metrically tooled. Most canned goods are marked by metric weight.Seven-Up (the un-cola) is gearing up for an advertising blitz promoting their new liter size. Clothes sizes are making the change. But there are still signs of resistance. One classic examples is the metric paper cup, which the manufacturer promptly labeled "5 fluid ounces."

Here are a few other suggestions:

The Smiyhsonian's Museum of Histroy and Technology is going metric with charts ($4), flash cards ($6.25), a superduper Metric Dome game ($10) and a metric digital thermometer ($10).

For kids, there's the "The Clothes Monitor," a celsius thermometer with pictures that show the child how to dress for the weather - bundled up next to the freezing temperatures, T-shirted for the hot. It's $3.95 at The Red Ballon (Georgetown and Less Champs).

Full-color 18-by-36 metric posters showing weight, length and volume measurements are available at Garfinckel's. ($4)

Metric Tools, including a 21-piece set with sockets, are available at Pep Boys. (Md. and Va.)

The Design Store has metric plastic pencil cups ($4.95), French kitchen scales ($20 to $30), a metric bath scales ($36.95) and a brightly colored metric Ladle Scale that hooks over your finger ($8.50).

Canisters, measuring cups, and the ultimate colorful conversion piece - the Terrallion 5000 metric scale ($21) - available at Kitchen Bazaar and Bloomingdales.

Metric Consumer Information Kit is available for $1 from the American National Metric Council, 1625 Massachusetts Ave. NW, Washington, DC 20036.

Metric desk accessories, rulers, and scales are being sold by Ursell's in Georgetown. But the nicest-looking tool is their handcrafted (made in Vermont) wooden metric tape measures in walnut, rosewood or maple. $7.50 for 6 feet; $10.50 for the 10 feet. Oops, I mean centimeters, (200 and 300, respectively.)