Experiment time was over and a bunch of white rats went over to the lab commissary to relax.

An attractive rat waitress took their orders.

"I'll take a humburger medium rare, lettuce, and a slice of tomato."

"Sorry we only have hamburgers, no lettuce and no tomatoes," the waitress said.

"Okay, honey," the white rat said, lighting up a cigarette, "Anything you say."

Another white rat said, "When are you going to give up smoking? It makes me sick."

"When you get off the pill, Flo," the rate smoking the cigarette said.

"I can't get off the pill," Flo replied. "I'd lose my job." Then she turned to the waitress, "I'd like my hamburger rare and a glass or Perrier water with a twist of lemon."

"I'm sorry. All we have is water from New Jersey," the waitress replied.

"Skip the water," another white rat said to the waitress. "I'll have a cheeseburger and black coffee with no saccharin and what are doing tonight after work?"

"Going to bed."

"Hey, that's no fun."

"It so happens I'm one of the rats who is not on the pill. They have me on placebos," the waitress said.

"Forget I asked," the white rate said.

Another rat said, "You have any Valium malteds?"

"We only have Valium cherry soda."

"Okay, I'll have one of those and a hamburger just slightly singed on both sides."

"You want French fries with that?" the waitress asked.

"Are they cooked in saturated or unsaturated oil?"

"Don't get mad, I'm a heart patient," the white rat said.

"Oh, go ahead Mike, have some saturated French fries," Flo said. "You only live once."

The waitress kept writing down the orders.

The last white rat was shedding hair all over the table, "Hey Mathilda, what happened to your coat?"

"They 've been spraying hair dye on me all day long. I think I'll have a tuna fish sandwich."

"We're out of tuna fish. All we have left is hamburgers."

"All right. I'll have a hamburger broiled."

"We only fry them here," the waitress said.

Mathida sighed. "Give it to me fried but red on the inside."

In 20 minutes the waitress was back. She placed down the order.

They all looked at their hamburgers.

"Hey, waitress," said Mike "this hamburger's well down."

"So's mine," another one cried.

"Mine too."

"Talk to the manager. I only work here."

The white rats were so hungry they decided to eat their hamburgers without complaining. Then they left.

The next night the commissary was completely empty. The manager said to the waitress, "Where is everybody?"

"Beats me," the waitress said. "All I know is a lab technician came in about an hour ago and asked how many customers had eaten well-done hamburgers last night, I told him, and he ran out of here with a big grin on his face."