A new theater season has arrived, and with it come the brochures advertising the offerings planned for the season at each theater.
Here are a few descriptions of plays that didn't quite make this season's lists, according to unreliable sources: Kennedy Center
FACE - Tom Stoppard's latest 30-minute fantasy, named for the spaces on the treble staff, is both a searing expose of political oppression in Bulgaria and a whimsical account of a chance meeting between Freud, Mortimer Adler, Charo and Amelia Earhart. With Henry Fonda as Freud, Jason Robards Jr. as Adler, Jane Alexander as Charo and Ingrid Bergman as Earhart! Rod Stewart has assembled his old rock 'n' roll band The Faces to provide music.
OH, NO! - Prohibition! Flappers! Vodee-oh-doh! High society jewel thieves sing and tap their way into your hearts in this 1928 musical, with a score featuring songs from 42 other 1928 musicals. Starring 17 authentic stars from the '20s in their last pass through Washington before they retire. That's a guaranteed money-back pledge.
WHAT'S UP, DOC? - Harold Pinter's latest, with Sir Ralph Richardson and Sir John Gielgud, Indescribable.
NATIONAL SECURITY - With Douglas Fairbanks Jr. and Elizabeth Ashley! She plays the first woman on the Securities and Exchange Commission and he's the crusty commission chairman. A hilarious battle of the sexes at SEC, with plenty of serious sutff, too!
2700 F STREET - The story of America's most important arts palace as seen through the eyes of the janitors and ushers who have worked there through the ages. Watch John Houseman, playing the big shot who runs the place and its annex on E Street, as he grapples with penny pinching in Congress and deadly leaks in the roof while maintaining a Broadway producing business on the side. A Broadway-bound smash hit. Arena Stage
DESCENT OF THE DUCKS - The American premiere of a probing psychological drama from dissident Bulgarian playwright Boris Bandersnatchov, who asks what life is all about. Symbolism for the whole family.
THE SOUND OF MUSIC - Austria's lower depths unearthed in the Rodgers and Hammerstein smash hit. An evocation of the decadent dawn of World War II, when the hills were alive with menace and madness and other favorite things. The Romanian master Liviu Ciulei will direct. Parental discretion advised.
APOCALYPTUS AMERICANA - The rock generation's naive dreams erupt into violence and sordid squalor in this devastating new work by the American dynamo Sam Shepard. Winner of 47 Obie awards before it was ever staged! David X to direct.
ROOT TOOT TOOTY! - Prohibition! Flappers! Voh-de-oh-doh! An intimate revue in the Old Vat Room recalls the decade that roared through the songs of Hank Fichndler, a little known composer of that era. Free peanuts for every fifth customer.
A HISTORY OF THE AMERICAN THEATRE - Arena State is ever on the lookout for Washington-oriented plays. In this one, a few Washington kids decide to put on a show, and led by a brazen young woman, they transform the postwar theatrical map! A world premiere. Ford's Theatre
GET DOWN WITH GOD AND DANCE ALL NIGht! - A wild celebration of urban rhythms and gospel harmonies, ready to rock the rafters and allow you to touch perfect strangers - all in good fun.
BY CRACKEY - A wild celebration of country rhythms and bluegrass harmonies, ready to rock the rafters and allow you to touch perfect strangers - all in good fun.
WADSWORTH - Listen, my children, and you shall hear James Whitmore bringing a great American poet to life - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow's tragedies and triumphs, his laughs and loves. A riveting evening in the grand old tradition of the one-man band - all in good fun.
SMART AND SASSY - Prohibition! Flappers! Vo-dee-oh-doh! Come with us back to those roaring years in a brisk musical revue performed by a young and absolutely biracial cast including six children of the last three Secretaries of the Interior - all in good fun.
MY WAY - The stirring saga of an embattled lady who converts an old museum into an active theater all by herself and lives to tell the tale again and again and again. Starring Tammy Grimes, with a score by Paul Anka and a sound and light show by the National Park Service. Supported by grants from 162 corporations. Folger Theatre
KING WILLIAM - Shakespeare's newly discovered autobiographical fantasy ponders the nature of fate, ambition, blood and guts. World premiere of a script found in the Folger Library by O.B. Hardison as he was searching for new Renaissance recipes for the library's annual funder-raiser. Reveals startling details of the Bard's fantasies about Queen Elizabeth.
APOCALYPTUS BRITANNICUS - The rock generation's naive drems erupt into violence and sordid squalor in this devastating new work by the young British dynamo David Hare, written as a contemporary version of "A Yank at Oxford." An American premiere.
JULIUS CAESAR and CYMBELINE in repertory, with the same six-member cast - the first time these plays have ever been presented with casts of this size! On Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays they play hardball politics in Rome (JULIUS CAESAR) while on Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays Roman ambition is defeated in pre-Christian England (CYMBELINE). With the two plays combined, that's 10 roles per actor!
LOUIE, LOUIE - A world premiere! A hip young guy actually wants to direct plays instead of movies or rock bands, but he scorns the glitter of the Great White Way in order to join the teeming intellectual ferment of Capitol Holl. Complete with film projections and rock music. New Playwrights' Theater
GRANDSON OF SIROCCO - More crazy hijinks from Tim Grundmann and his band of zanies, this time performed on the roof. Wear a sturdy pair of hiking boots for maneuvers on the fire escapes.
HAGAR's GRANDCHILDREN - On the eve of St. Patrick's Day, two social workers at a home for young Irish runaways try to instill a little holiday spirit in their lost and lonely charges. "A bold and terrifying tearjerker" Joseph Papp. Performed in the lobby. Asta Theater
IN THE JUNGLE OF CAPITOL HILL - A live nighttime soap opera depicting the strange lusts and sidesplitting foibles of the fools on the Hill. Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays at 2 a.m. Extra bolts will be provided for your car doors.
STEPPIN' IN TIME - Prohibition! Flappers! Vo-de-oh-doh! You guessed it. Back Alley Theater
MINORITIES ON PARADE, PART 24 - The vibrant street life of Washington's elderly gay Bulgarian community comes alive in this college of song, sketch, poetry and dance.
INTERCOURSE - Transaction, giving and taking, communication, change, exchange, interchange, interexchange, relationships, interrelationships, intercorelationships and more of the same from Washington's leader in contemporary drama.