NEWS ITEM: Judge rules that women reporters must be permitted in baseball locker rooms.
It seemed extremely rocky for the Mudville Nine that day.
They blew the game in Springfield on a stupid double play.
So when a girl-reporter walked in their locker room.
They decided to play ball with her to take away the gloom.
Cooney made the first pass, and he fell upon his face;
Burrows tried to sacrifice, but couldn't get to base.
Flynn was left in right field, and never got her name;
It looked as though poor Mudville would lose another game.
Then from the locker players went up a joyous yell;
It rumbled in the showers, it rattled in the dell.
It struck upon the saunas, and rebounded on the flat;
For Casey, might Casey, was advanced to the bat.
There was ease in Casey's manner, a smile on Casey's face.
As he whispered to the lady, "Would you like to see my place?"
"Pas ce soir ," the lady said, "and please take off your hat."
"That's no way to talk," Flynn said, "when Casey's up to bat."
She frowned in great displeasure, a hand upon her hip.
She stuck a mike in Casey's face and almost cut his lip.
"Strike one," the shortstop called out, as he doubled up and roared.
"Casey's swinging wildly and he hasn't even scored."
Casey dug his feet in as he made another pitch;
"Lets's have a drink at your place and take away this itch."
"I have a date," the lady said, "so knock off all the chatter;
Tell me why you blew the game as Mudville's greatest batter."
"Strike two," the catcher shouted as he rolled upon the floor.
Casey blushed with anger for he could not take much more.
"I have a brand new Caddy sitting in the parking lot."
The news has shrugged her shoulders, "I guess that's all you've got."
"Fraud!" cried Casey's teammates and the echo answered, "Fraud!"
But a scornful look from Casey and the locker room was awed.
They saw his face grow stern and cold, they saw his muscles strain,
And they knew that mighty Casey would not foul out again.
"Look, honey," he said plaintively, "I'll talk about my pain.
Let's do it over pizzas and a bottle of champagne."
"I haven't time to mess around," the lovely lady cried out.
"I've got to meet a deadline, that's what news is all about."
The sneer was gone from Casey's lips, his teeth were clenched in fear.
He put his arm around the girl - she socked him in the ear.
She took her mike and hit his hand, and kicked him in the shin.
"Now tell me, when you get your breath, just why you didnt win."
Oh, somewhere in this favored land, the moon is shining bright,
And girls are doing disco in pants that are too tight;
And somewhere men are laughing and drinking Guinness Stout,
But there's no joy in Mudville - mighty Casey just struck out.