IN CASE you haven't noticed it, the networks are spending more and more time plugging their future shows and less time telling you what is going on at the moment. Anyone who has watched a televised football game is conscious of how sports announcers are forced to hype other network programs that have nothing to do with the game.
"Fourth down and a yard to go. Dallas has decided to try a 52-yard field goal. If they succeed they will tie the score."
"Fred, there's beautiful Rachel Carberry of the HYP network's smash series 'Ripoff From Star Wars.' I hear next Thursday's episode is a dilly of a show."
"You heard right, Harold. What time is it on?"
"Eight o'clock in the east and west, and 7 central time."
"The Redskins have called time out to give the Dallas kicker more time to think about the field goal."
"Well, if they want to think about something I might remind the Cowboys that next Saturday HYP Sports will bring you live, on most of these stations the 'Orange Bowl Demolition Derby.' the Grand Prix grudge car racing match between Paul Newman and Dolly Parton."
"I wouldn't miss that, Dave. Now back to live action."
"There goes a penalty flag. Dallas has taken too long in the huddle."
"Speaking of huddles, Fred. On Friday evening, three weeks from tonight, 'Charlie's Angels' get themselves into a huddle and have to be rescued by Bill Cosby. It's all in fun right now on HYP."
"I'm going to stay home that night, Harold."
"Where are we now, Fred?"
"I think Dallas is ready to try for a field goal from their own 45."
"While the holder of the ball is getting into position, Fred, let's go down on the field and talk to Sam Francisco, who plays the private eye in 'Golden Gate, Don't Be Late.'
"Sam, I hear your next show has to do with a race horse who tries to jump off the bridge."
"That's right, Harold. He's despondent because his jockey is riding another horse in the Kentucky Derby, and he decides he has nothing to live for."
"Well, lots of luck, Sam. All of us will be watching 'Golden Gate, Don't Be Late.' Now back to Fred."
"Harold, while you were talking to Sam, Dallas made the field goal and then kicked off to the Redskins' Tony Green, who ran 90 yards for a touchdown. Moseley got the extra point and the Redskins then tried an onside kick which Dallas recovered. It's thirk down and four to go on the Skins' 12yard line."
"Fred, before Dallas scores, or loses and ball, I think we should remind everyong that the HYP network's presidental election coverage is only two years away, and we advise everyone to stay tuned to this station for complete up-to-the-minute results by the best political reporters in the business. We have spared no expense to bring you the most exciting election night ever."
"Back to you, Fred."
"There's an injured man on the field. Dave, you were talling me about a mini-series you're appearing on in 1981."
"It's sort of a white man's version of 'Roots.' I play a slave owner who goes back to England to discover where my ancestors came from, and what got us into slavery in the first place. I find an old man, who lives in Yorkshire, who remembers my grandfather as the biggest bigot in the country."
"We won't miss that, will we, Harold?"
"It depends on whether we have a football game or not, Fred. And speaking of football, what's the score of this game?"
"I have no idea, but next week's contest between Oakland and Pittsburgh should be a beaut."
"Not to mention the show that precedes it, "King Tut Meets the Incredible Hulk.'"
"So it's good night from all of us here in Dallas. See you in Pittsburgh next week, or if you can't make it then be sure and be with us on Jan. 12, 1980 for the Lake Placid Winter Olympics."