Dick Erickson keeps a call girl in the garage of his home.
But before the vice squad rolls, be advised that the girl is a mannequin. She represents an old-fashioned switchboard operator.
Erickson has good reason for such a tableau: He collects rare old telephones and has one of the largest such accumulations in the country -- more than 300 and most of them work.
"See this one," he said, pecking on something that looked like a typewriter. "It was called a Typewriter Dialer and it was used in England during the second World War. It had 10 keys and you punched out a phone number just as if you were writing a letter."
Another of his models, popular at the turn of the century, was worn like a stethoscope, with the caller speaking into a mouthpiece that almost encircled his mouth like a gag.
The 43-year-old Erickson is a field rep with Pacific Telephone and so perhaps it was inevitable that one day seven years ago, while poking around in an antique shop, he gravitated toward a phone in the shape of the Eiffel Tower.
And now the walls of his garage are lined with just about every model since Alexander Graham Bell became the first person not to get a busy signal.
One is a fine old 6-foot oaken cabinet that even took silver dollars.
"In those days, around 1890, a transcontinental call cost $22," Erickson said. "This particular model took dollars, half-dollars, quarters, dimes and nickels. Each slot made a different tone, and a long-distance call made a lot of music, but you needed a lot of coins."
The reason for the height of the cabinet, he went on, was to accommodate large glass batteries.
"There was no electronics, so you cranked up to reach the operator, she would tell you how much to deposit, and then she would listen for the sounds of the various coins.
"And in those days the calls were measured in quarter-minute intervals."
He has them all, even one from the Queen Mary which advises: "You can telephone to any part of the world whilst at sea."
On and on goes the collection. We would tell you more, but your three minutes are up.