CALIFORNIA DREAMING - Annandale, AMC Carrollton, Avalon 1, Roth's Seven Locks, Wheaton Plaza and Roth's Tysons Corner.

Nobody's pretending that these California hijinks movies are great art or anything, but "California Dreaming," the latest sun-sand-surf celebration, hits new lows.

One wonders why the filmmakers even bothered with dialogue - it would have been so much easier to just string together their beach bunny, surfing and sex footage with some pretty music in the background. For that matter, you could flip through a Playboy and put a Beach Boys album on the stereo and get the same effect.

Dennis Christopher plays T.T., a pathetic little nerd from "Chi-town" who moves to California - which this movie depicts as a land where the highest achievement is a perfect tan, the heaviest reading is TV Guide and "You are so gross" is considered the height of wittiness.

Sample dialogue:

"Hey isn't that your chick?"

"Usta be."

"Far out."

T.T. is mildly repulsive, with his white legs and black socks, but against the monotonous backdrop of hundreds of tanned, muscle-bound surfer boys he soon cuts an endearing figure. As for the bunnies, Tanya Roberts stands out (no pun intended), but only because she's a lone brunette in a sea of Summer Blondes.

In a fumbling attempt at pathos, T.T. is provided with a brother, a jazz musician, who's just died without realizing his dream of seeing the ocean. T.T. has brought his brother's recordings all the way from Chi-town, and plays them while staring at the ocean a couple of times. This convention observed, we pan to the cleavage.

The editing is incredibly sloppy: Some business about fixing a broken watch is meaningless, apparently because the scene where the watch got broken ended up on the cutting-room floor.

"California Dreaming" is not even a harmless trifle. The language isn't suitable for children and the values expressed are reprehensible. The California Chamber of Commerce should sue for slander.