WINTER KILLS - AMC Carrollton, AMC Skyline, Hybla Valley, K-B Cerberus, Mercado, Oxoon Hill and University 3.

Why is there no Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis character in "Winter Kills," the story of the motorcade assassination of rich playboy President Kegan?

All there is:

A filthy old man (dirty is not the word), the slain president's father, who bankrolled the election with mobster help, not for glory so much as to protect his extensive financial interests.

The statement that the legendary president "was laid 1,072 times while in office," which is an interesting reminder of that tragic phrase, "1,000 days."

Eli Wallach as the man, name Joe Diamond, who shoots the police-held man who is supposed to have shot the president.

Elizabeth Taylor visiting the White House, not with the Senate Wives bandage-rolling group this time, but in the role of presidential pimp.

Anthony Perkins as a twitching madman who bugged the entire universe.

A killer whose clothes accidentally come off in a quick struggle even though she has been wearing a conservative maid's uniform.

A woman writhing and screaming on a pillow for so long that one thinks she is being strangled and wonders why it is taking so long; then realizes what the man is actually doing to her, and wonders why takes so long.

A romantic scene, complete with marriage proposal, in which the woman is sitting on the toilet.

Just one more spurt of effort, and this enterprise might have been hilarious. Any one of the above scenes could have been funny, probably putting an end forever to anyone's taking assasination conspiracy theories seriously; but the intent, as author Richard Condon has said, was the opposite. The author of "The Manchurian Candidate" apparently meant this effort to awaken American to dangers to democracy, but where they come from, aside from room service, is not clear.

Nor do the two leads, Jeff Bridges and Belinda Bauer, show any flair of comedy, among other deficiencies. It's too bad, especially because there is such a great last line. The old tycoon, about to die (from holding onto a ripping flag that is hanging from outside a skyscraper) shouts to his heir, "Take our money out of the western world and put it in South America!" (his geography apparently being as weak as his morals)

It would be nice to say that that alone is worth the price of admission, but it isn't. Besides, there's no Jackie in this film. They probably left her out for reasons of taste. CAPTION: Picture, JEFF BRIDGES IN A SCENE FROM "WINTER KILLS."