"'Hello, is this the federal prosecutor's office? This is Roy Bone. I'm representing the two owners of Studio 53 who are up on tax fraud charges. I'd like to make a plea-bargaining deal with you."
"'We have an airtight case against your two boys. We're not interested in making a deal."
"Wait until you hear me out. I can deliver the mother of one of the highest officials in the United States government."'
"What did she do?"
"She committed monomania."
"Are you sure?"
"She did it in the basement of the disco. We have witnesses to prove it."
"What kind of witnesses?"
"One of them said he didn't think her son had a chance of beating Teddy Kennedy and she flew into a rage and said he was a pseudologue."
"How good is your witness?"
"He's done time for perjury, arson, fraud and embezzlement and is now out on bail for a Brink's robbery. I can personally vouch for him."
"I don't think you have a good enough deal."
"If you don't play ball I'll give it to The New York Times. Then they'll start asking what you people are trying to cover up."
"Don't blackmail us, Bone. You wouldn't be making this call if we didn't have you by the short pants. We're going to court with all the counts."
"All right, I'll tell you what I'll do. My clients are willing to give you solid evidence that one of Carter's closest relatives deals in gasohol."
"You have to be more specific."
"If you don't want it, I'll give it to The New York Times."
"Look, Roy, I'm very busy preparing my case. We're always willing to pleabargain if it will lead us somewhere. But you're offering us garbage."
"Did you know that all the illegal Mexicans coming into the United States are smuggled through Camp David?"
"Where did you dig up that one?"
"A client of mine doing time at Atlanta heard it from his cellmate. It would be a big feather in your cap if you could close down Camp David."
"Sorry, Roy. We're not interested." "Okay, you want something really heavy? The mob is now jogging in Las Vegas."
"Who do you know in the White House that jogs?"
"You're desperate, Bone. Why don't you just go to trial and let your people take what's coming to them?"
"Listen, my boys run a nice clean disco. People come there to relax and have a good time. If they're not having a good time they snort cocaine through a straw and that relaxes them. My guys made a slight mistake and forgot to pay their income taxes. People do it every day. But the difference between my clients and others is that we're willing to sell out anybody to get off the hook. Tell me who you want to get and we'll blow the whistle on him."
"Roy, we're always happy to do business with you. But we need more evidence if you're going to destroy somebody else's reputation."
"Knock the indictment down to two counts, and we'll give the names of the guys who supply No-Doz to Howard Cosell."