This country is producing so much leisure equipment for the home that nobody has any leisure time anymore to enjoy it. A few months ago I bought a television tape recorder to make copies of programs when I was out of the house.
Last week I recorded the Nebraska-Oklahoma football game. When I came home in the evening, I decided to play it back. But my son wanted to play "Baseball" on the TV screen with his Atari Computer. We finished four innings when my wife came in the room and asked me if I would like to listen to the Vienna Opera on our hi-fi stereo set. I told her I was waiting to finish the baseball match so I could watch the football game I had recorded.
She said if I watched the football game for three hours, I would miss "Love Boat." I told her I would record "Love Boat" and we could watch it later in the evening. She protested that "Casablanca" was showing on Channel 5 at 11:30 and she wanted to see it again.
"Don't worry," I assured her, "we can watch 'Love Boat' late Saturday and 'Casablanca' on Sunday morning when we get up."
"But if we watch 'Casablanca' tomorrow morning, when can we see the instant Polaroid movies you took of Ben yesterday afternoon?"
"We'll see them after we play back-gammon on the new table."
"If we do that," my daughter said, "we won't be able to see the Washington Redskins-New York Giants football game."
"I'll record the Redskins-Giants football game and we'll watch it while '60 Minutes' is on the air. We can see '60 Minutes' at 11 o'clock."
"But," my son said, "you promised to play the pinball machine with me at 11."
"Okay, we'll play pinball at 11 and watch '60 Minutes' at midnight."
My wife said, "Why don't we listen to the Vienna Opera while we're eating and then we can save an hour to play computer golf?"
"That's good thinking," I said. "The only problem is I've rented a TV tape of 'Cleopatra,' and that runs for three hours."
"You could show it Monday night," she suggested.
"I can't do that. I have to return the tape Monday afternoon or be charged for it another week. I have an idea. I won't go to work Monday morning and we'll watch it then."
"I was hoping to use our Jacuzzi Monday morning," my wife said.
"Okay, then I'll tape 'Cleopatra' and you can see it Monday afternoon."
"I'm using the set Monday afternoon," my son said, "to play digital hockey on the TV screen."
"You can't do that," I said. "I have to watch the 'Today' show in the afternoon if I'm going to watch 'Cleopatra' in the morning."
"Why can't you watch the 'Today' show at dinnertime?" my wife asked.
"Because the Wolfingtons are coming over to hear me play 'Tea for Two' on the electric organ."
"I thought we might play computer bridge at dinner," my wife said.
"We'll play it after my encore," I assured her.
"Then when will we see 'Monday Night Football'?" my son wanted to know.
"Tuesday," I said.
"Does that mean you're not going to work on Tuesday?" my wife asked.
"How can I go to work," I yelled, "when I've got so much leisure time on my hands?"