I've never pretended to be Jeanne Dixon, but every January I put a series of predictions for the coming year in a sealed envelope and give them to the accounting firm of Price, Waterhouse to hold for me. At the end of the year I break the seal to see how well I did.
I opened the envelope the other day and will now share my 1979 predictions with my readers. Frankly, I didn't do badly for a newspaper columnist.
"Christina Onassis will find happiness in Moscow with her Russian husband, and turn her back on all the material things the capitalist society provided her with."
"Another great year for Idi Amin. While the rest of the world will grumble, the Ugandans will rally around and see that old Fat Stuff stays on his throne."
"U.N. Ambassador Andrew Young will be promoted to Secretary of State for solving all our problems in the Middle East."
Secretary of Health, Education and Welfare Joseph Califano will be the only administration official to survive a shake-up in President Carter's Cabinet."
"Ham Jordan will stick close to the White House in 1979 so he can keep his name out of the press."
"Teddy Kennedy, after consulting with members of his family, will decide NOT to be a candidate in 1980 because he will feel President Carter has been such a good leader that he deserves a second term."
"The OPEC countries will come to their senses and lower the price of crude oil to 1970 levels."
"When this happens Chrysler should have its best year yet, and will be unable to meet the demand for its large cars."
"The gold bugs will take a bath when the dollar once again becomes the strongest currency in the world."
"McDonnell Douglas will announce sales of 400 new DC-10s to practically every commercial airline in the world."
"The inflation scare will be a joke by March, 1979, and interest rates will go down to 5.5 percent."
"Despite nervous Nellies at NASA, Skylab will stay up in space for another 10 years, and once again start sending more information back to earth." a
"The New York Yankees will win the World Series and Billy Martin, after being voted Manager of the Year, will get a 10-year, no-cut contract from a happy George Steinbrenner."
"Lee Marvin will prove that two can live as cheaply as one without having to get married."
"Investigative reporter Bob Woodward will become Chief Justice Burger's press secretary and give the Supreme Court, a new image."
"President Carter will win the Boston Marathon."
"The China Syndrome' movie, starring Jack Lemmon and Jane Fonda, will be a box office flop because no one will buy the ridiculous premise that an accident could happen at a nuclear plant."
"The SALT II treaty will pass by unanimous consent of the Senate, and the Soviets will scrap their plans to build the Backfire bomber because that would mean taking unfair military advantage of the United States."
"Henry Kissinger will admit on national television that he once made a mistake -- thus destroying America's faith in the doctrine of his infallibility."
I know many people are skeptical that all the above predictions were made at the beginning of 1979, before they actually happened. But they were made, and I have Price, Waterhouse to prove it. Some will ask how I could see that far ahead. My only answer is that I seem to have a gift for foreseeing the future and, if I understood it myself, it would scare the hell out of me.