Here are "Dirty Fighting Techniques" compiled by marriage and family therapist Gregory T. Leville of Allentown, Pa.:

By a spy. Watch each other's behavior and look for shortcomings. Record them so you'll have plenty of ammunition to use later on.

Time your attacks. Attack when your partner is least able and prepared to defend him or herself. A strategic time might be when your partner is engrossed in a TV football game or putting the children to bed.

Smile, act friendly and tease. This puts your partner at a disadvantage, since -- if he or she doesn't like your comments -- you can say "Where's your sense of humor, I'm just kidding around."

Act like a martyr. Willingly give up something you want, but be sure to act sad, become depressed or ill to insure that your partner recognizes and appreciates your sacrifice.

Become a labeler. Learn some basic psychiatric terminology and analyze each other. For example, call her a "frigid, dependent female," or him, "a sadistic, inadequate male."

Don't listen. Proceed on the assumption that you're right and use the time that your partner is talking to marshal your own defense and plan your attack.

Don't give a clear message. When something is bothering you, don't tell your partner what's wrong. If your partner really loved you he or she'd be able to figure it out.

Be condescending. "Give in" to keep peace, or for the sake of the children. This helps insure feelings of superiority and moral victory in the face of defeat.

Use children or sex as weapons. Contradict your partner's authority with the children and make them aware of shortcomings. Be sure to attack your partner's manhood or femininity and fake headaches or illness to avoid sexual intimacy.