It may be my imagination, but more and more people seem to be talking to themselves during this election year. All you have to do is walk down the street and you can hear someone mumbling. I was curious to hear what people are saying so I followed one man who was muttering. This is what I heard:
I can't vote for Carter. Anyone but Carter . . . But then I can't vote for Reagan either . . . If I go for Anderson, I'll be throwing my vote away . . . I better vote for Carter. But Carter doesn't seem to know what he's doing. He got us into a recession, and in four more years he could get us into a depression . . . I better vote for Reagan . . . Reagan will get us into a war. It would be terrible to be in a recession and a war at the same time . . . I better vote for Anderson . . . What do I know about Anderson? I voted for Carter last time because I didn't know anything about him. I won't make that mistake again . . . I better vote for Carter . . .
"I'm not sure I could stand the Georgia Mafia for another four years. I better vote for Reagan . . . But if I vote for Reagan I'll be voting for simple answers to complicated questions. He hasn't said anything original since "Bedtime for Bonzo". . . Maybe I better vote for Anderson. Why should I vote for Anderson? He seems honest -- but they all seem honest at the beginning. I'll bet underneath it all he's just another politician on the make . . . I think I'll cast my ballot for Carter. What am I saying? The reason I'm having all this trouble deciding who to vote for is because of Carter. He hasn't solved any of the problems we're facing . . . He says one thing one day and another the next . . . It looks like I have no choice. I have to pull the lever for Reagan . . . But if Reagan gets in he may have two or three Supreme Court appointments. I couldn't live with the people Reagan would appoint to the Supreme Court.
"It's obvious, I have forget the two-party system and support Anderson. Hold it, Anderson can't win. All he can do is spoil it for the other two and then it will go to the House, and they'll probably give it to Carter. I might as well vote for Carter in the first place . . . My wife said she'd never talk to me if I voted for Carter again. She says she's had it with born-again presidents . . . I don't think Reagan's been born again. I wonder if she'd want me to vote for Reagan? . . . I wish she hadn't left home to take a job in California so I could ask her . . . I guess it has to be Reagan . . . No, it doesn't have to be Reagan. He never gets his facts straight. That's all right when you're running for office -- but it could be real trouble in the Oval Office . . . I better think Anderson . . . Anderson? Is he just a media star who will burn out once the election is over? . . .
Where did he come from? What do I know about him except that he looks different from the others? . . . I have to come to my senses, I'm not happy about it, but I'll go for Carter.
"But if I vote for Carter we'll get the whole damn family in the White House again . . . I'm not sure I can put up with Amy in her teens, and I know I've had it with Billy. At least with Reagan we don't get a family . . . It's obvious what my decision is. I'll vote for Reagan and take my chances. Some people say he was a good governor of California. Come to think of it, he's the one who said it. Others say he fudged his record . . . Maybe I should vote for Anderson and forget about the whole thing. But Anderson's record in the House isn't that hot either. He says he's changed his mind on a lot of things . . . Well, if he can change his mind, so can I. At least I know what I'm getting with Carter. If anyone asks me, I'm a Carter man . . . I can't say it with a straight face. aCan I say I'm a Reagan man with a straight face? Nope, I can't do that either. I can say I'm an Anderson man with a straight face. Look at my straight face. It isn't straight? I was afraid of that.
"So where does that leave me? Maybe Carter has learned a lot in the first four years and will be a good president in his second term. It's happened before. When did it happen? How do I know? . . . If I vote for Reagan, he said he'll only stay for one term . . . That's in his favor. But then again I have to consider his age. Of course his hair is dark. Anderson's is white. I wonder why Anderson's hair is white . . . Can the country survive with a white-haired president?
"There has to be a solution to my problem . . . Wait a minute! . . . I think I have it. Why didn't I think of it before? I'll move to Chicago and vote for all three of them."