THE BIGGEST lie in the word is, "The check is in in mail" -- except during an election year, and then you get some whoppers to top even that.

"I promise, if I am elected, that you will get a tax cut, and I will also balance the budget."

"When I become president, the Russians will know we mean business."

"I guarantee that everyone who wants to work will have a job."

"I will give you less givernment -- not more government."

"My goal is to see that all the people get medical care at a price they can afford."

"Let's make no mistake about this. I am for the farmer."

"My first priority will be to see that everyone gets decent housing at reasonable interest rates."

"I intend to take strong measures to insure that every worker in this country shares in the fruits of his labor."

"My first concern is to cut red tape and to encourage business to make profits so we will have a strong economy and compete with overseas imports."

"I will not appoint anyone to public office for political reasons."

"My vice president will be in on all my decisions."

"I will work closely with Congress and keep them advised about every foreign policy decision I make."

"My staff will be kept to a minimum and my door will be open to the cabinet members at all times."

"The sick and the elderly will have someone in the White House who cares about them."

"I intend to take the high road in this campaign and not deal in personalities."

"I will never lie to you."

"The only reason I have sought this office is that I believe the country needs leadership."

"This is the best kosher frankfurter I've ever tasted."

"I would say, with a few exceptions, that the media have treated me fairly."

"I intend to rebuild every American city in this country."

"Anyone in my administration who commits an improperiety will be immediately dismissed."

"My first act in office will be to make us self-sufficient in energy."

"No one will go hungry as long as I am president."

"Make no mistake about this. I'm for the small businessman."

"I will see to it that women are treated as equals with men in job opportunities, pay and respect."

"I have spoken to the people and I have listened to what they have to say."

"This is the best chicken gumbo I've ever tasted."

"I can't do the job without your prayers."

"I can't do the job unless you elect Hap Gable as congressman from this district."

"Make no mistake about this. I'm for the American Indian."

"I read a book about Abraham Lincoln last night and I came across this passage."

"It doesn't matter to me personally if I win or lose, but it does matter to this great country of ours."

"I know what it's like to be poor."

"My remarks were misconstrued by the press, and I had no intention of offending anyone."

"Make no mistake about this. I'm for the coal miner."

"If I am elected, I will listen to the best minds in this country."

"This is the best enchilada I've ever tasted."