Newest product of West German scientific research, voice-actuated EXECU-LARM personal sprinkler system engulfs you in a powerful water spray when you yell "Fire!" into your breast pocket. Soaks you head to toe in 30 seconds for custom individualized protection. Miniature high-pressure water jets with precison nozzles snap in, snap out -- leave no unsightly puckers on clothing, unlike "bargain" systems. Giant 20-quart reservoir tank fits easily under raincoat, fills in a jiffy from any faucet. $139.95

Time- and labor-saving EXECU-SCANNER MK V actually reads books, magazines, reports, etc., for you while you sleep! Silent, all transistorized, fits easily in briefcase or desk drawer. Just set and forget -- devours 500 pages per hour in any language. Light flashes when finished, reloads in seconds. Handles documents up to 12x12 in. $99.95

Slip this fashion-styled European EXECUTIVE NAP SAK over your head for restful catnaps in noisy airports, etc. Double-stiched seams, reinforced ear and nose pockets, heavy-duty breathing grille. Comes in handy tote bag with police-type grip. $9.95

Kiss sky-high laundry bills goodbye forever with EXECU-KLEEN! Looks like expensive luggage but works like a dry-cleaning plant right in your hotel/motel room. Blitzes even heavy mackinaws clean in seconds without powders, foams or liquids. Built-in fan connects with any room air-conditioning system to whisk away most fumes, smoke and order by morning. Rubber pads minimize vibration, foldaway mangle doubles as pants presser with bolt-on attachment. $399.95

Designed on the famous blimp principle, this EXECU-FLITE 2000 inflatable chairman's desk hooks on to any fold-down airliner meal tray, blows up in seconds into a massive 4 x 6-ft. workspace complete with four regulation drawers, permanent desk-top blotter and personalized nameplate with your initials. Deflates to handkerchief size in seconds. Specify oak, walnut or ash finish. $59.95

Trim, slim, ultra-lightweight EXECU-GOSPEL MICRO-MATIC is a pocket calculator, microwave toaster and Holy Bible all in one. Ingenious function lets you punch up Ten Commandments, 100 best-loved Psalms, 450 other top Biblical items on luminous display screen while instant microwave oven toasts bite-sized 3 x 4-in. piece of bread and hi-capacity transistorized calculator computes company budgets, taxes, etc. Ideal for the devout man-on-the go. Tasteful black carry case and shoulder strap. (Bread not included.) $99.95

Miracle miniature EXECU-SUP vestpocket refreshment center from Fong of Hong Kong turns discarded correspondence, newspapers, even manila envelopes into coffeelike grounds, automatically mixes in creamlike fluid to perk and serve piping hot coffee-colored beverage in seconds! One standard business letter makes three cups. $89.95

Executive grooming breakthrough of the decade is EXECU-NEET, the automated "barber in a box" that uses new robot technology to make sure your hair is parted precisely the same every morning! No successful executive wants colleagues or competitors cracking. "Your hair looks funny today!" Clamps over head without discomfort and without wires, works in less than a minute to place the part exactly where you want it. Electronic "memory" then repeats the part every time, within .00001 millimeters of accuracy. Not a novelty,not a toy, but a hi-precision machine developed in consultation with the world's leading barbers. Storage box doubles as moisture-proof file cabinet. $129.95

Advanced engineering distinguishes this handsome set of EXECUTIVE BAGPIPES, precision cast in space-age Dura Wrap. Portable enough to stow under airline seat. Exclusive "Magic Lung" holds notes up to 5 min., frees your hands for important paper work, etc. Specify Stewart, MacDonald or Campbell bag tartan. $199.95