So: Kristin Shepard is not only a would-be murderer about to become unwed mother, she's a liar.

A hundred times she said it: "Really, I don't know who shot J.R. I swear it."

But I knew.

In a casual meeting last month at an autograph session at the Montgomery Mall Woodward & Lothrop, Kristin, a.k.a. Mary Crosby, was oh so very sweet. Of course I was as polite as she. I posed the question to her only once: "Give it to me straight," I said. "You don't even have to tell me who. Just tell me if you know." The answer to who held the gun that put J. R. Ewing in that new Mercedes wheelchair of his was somewhere between her diamond earrings. I knew it.

"Really," she said again, smiling that cream-puff way she does, "I haven't a clue."

A bad liar at that.

But she had slipped. She finally confided that we would not know who shot J. R. until the season's fifth episode. But later she said, "Oh yes, I'm leaving the series after the fifth FAN, From F1> episode." Who wouldn't put two and two together?

"Then you must have done it," I challenged. I was now hot on her trail and snipping at her spike-heel boots.

"No no no. You shouldn't jump to that conclusion." Sure

Okay, so she's a liar. But if you knew Kristin like I know Kristin, wow, oh what a bitch.

Cheat. Blackmailer. Seducer. Flirt. Opportunist. Mistress and Marriage Breaker -- and all around Bad Girl. So now the big question is why is it girls like her have all the luck?

Confronted with her guilt last night, Kristin didn't beg or plea bargain. No. Kristin gave America another jolt, as hot as the one she gave J. R. seven months ago. By carrying the unborn child of America's arch villain, she ended up with the final trump card in the "Dallas" game.

Or did she? In the episodes to come J. R. may just show us the true meaning of revenge.