Marion Javits wasn't invited, but she showed up anyway when her husband went to lunch with his editiors and publicists on Tuesday at the Four Season in New York to celebrate the completion of the forthcoming autobiography.

Sen. Jacob Javits' wife isn't happy about the book, which isn't due out until May and has already been "sensationalized," she says, with an excerpt in The Washington Monthly about "what went wrong" with her marriage.

The excerpt was picked up by the wire services and widely distributed.

Mrs. Javits is not pleased with the way things are being handled.

Displaying a "certain amount of anger . . . she came racing over to the edge of the table," says one of those present. "We all got up, needless to say . . ."

She wanted to know what the luncheon was about, mistakenly assuming it was to plan future publicity -- a subject on which she considers herself an expert who should have been consulted.

"Everyone at the table was surprised," says another source, because an invitation had been extended to her husband to her join them at his discretion, but he didn't invite her along.

While Javits said very little, the other five people at the table took turns calming his wife down.

Finally, she was persuaded to sit down and join them, but "everything was tense after that."

"Marion was devastated," he wrote in the book excerpt. "She has never let me forget that on our wedding night. I brought the newspapers into our stateroom."

Social moth Jerry Zipkin, dear friend of Ronnie and Nancy, who so enjoys chomping down on other people's tattered reputations, may find a few tiny holes in his own family linen if it is hung out to air in a New York court next month.

His sister, Eleanor, reportedly unhappy over family money matters, is coming from Madrid to confer with her lawyers.

Eleanor, as publicity-shy as her brother is otherwise, is married to Enrique Jose Cervantes, publisher of Spain's English-language Iberian Daily Sun.

She has been trying to keep her spat with her brother a "private" matter, but his enemies are drooling in anticipation of court papers being filed right in the middle of Reagan's inauguration.

Former ambassador to Great Britian Walter Annenberg and his wife, Lee, have asked their favorite Palm Springs dance band to reserve New Year's Eve for a party at which they are expecting the President-elect and Mrs. Reagan.

Senior Carter aides are claiming that Nancy Reagan not only wanted the first family to vacate the White House early, she was also hoping that for at least one day everyone would vacate the West Wing so that she could take a tour of the offices without anyone there.

Irked Carter staffers refused to be budgeted, one source says, but the polite explanation given was that the Secret Service wouldn't permit such an evacuation en masse for "security reasons."

Ham and Jody and Chip and Jeff and Annette all wore buttons proclaiming "Free The New Orleans One," as the y plunked down their $25 at a wine-and-junk-food fund-raiser to pay Carter campaign manager Tim Kraft's legal bills.

The party raised about $10,000. Kraft, still under investigation by a special prosecutor on cocaine sniffing allegations, estimated to someone that he figured he needed a total of $25,000.

"Not unless you're planning to plead guilty," quipped Ham Jordan, whose attorney fees on similar charges came to $150,000.