Would you like to know why you are so unlucky?

How to win the one you love?

Who your friends and enemies are?

If your loved one is true or false?

How to always get your wish?

Well, of course you would. And that, according to at least one advertisement in the Yellow Pages, is what a fortune teller offers you, whether it be through palm-readings, tarot cards, tea leaves or astrology.

The medium's message is that the future is forseeable and a party-giver inclined to give a party for star-gazing will not only learn which guest is a Leo and which a Libra, but who to introduce to a tall dark stranger and who not to take an automobile trip with.

If, when inviting guests, you ask each the exact date of their birth, including the hour and the place where they were born, you can have their natal charts drawn up by computer. (julia Skalka, 8900 Falls Rd., Potomac, Md. 20854, will compute the charts for $2 each.) Then on the night of the party, you can have the astrologer present to tell you what all those signs and conjunctions mean. The National Academy of Astrologers (265-5658) can give you the names of various astrologers to contact.

If you prefer palm-reading to star-gazing, the Yellow Pages, under Palmists, lists people who forsee the future via the crystal ball, tarot cards, palm-reading, etc.

Prices for party readings vary, but, for example, the Rev. Mrs. Dean (363-0641), a reader of the crystal ball, palms and the cards charges $10 a person; Mrs. Natalie (244-3464), who reads palms and tarot cards, charges $5 a person. Undoubtedly, the wise party-giver will arrange to have a reading with the fortune teller before engaging anyone for the evening.

How else will you find the answer to the question, "Will this party be a success?"

Less expensive, though lacking a certain authenticity, would be to have a do-it-yourself session, using tarot cards and the I Ching, the Chinese Book of Changes, to foretell the future.

After everyone has had their fortune told, serve them with your very own receipe for Chicken I Ching or Lucky Duck, accompanied by a hearts of palm salad and, of course, loose, leaf tea and fortune cookies. The later, by the way, are only 25 cents for a bag of six at Wang's, 800 7th St. NW. Good fortune, indeed.