I would like to say that I don't sleep with married men, but perhap it would be more prudent and correct to say that I don't sleep with married men who are happily married. -- Britt Ekland

We're not just talking to ANY bimbo here.

Britt Ekland, one of those after-the-commercial-we'll-be-right-back-with celebrities who is best known for simply being known, is here with her ghostwritten autobiography, "True Britt," which is 242 pages long and can be read over lunch, give or take coffee. "Moby Dick," it ain't. Then again, you don't need a scorecard to chart the whales in Moby Dick's life and in "True Britt" if you don't keep score you're missing the true grit.

There is one marriage: to Peter Sellers, which produced a daughter, Victoria, now 16 years old.

There are 10 (short) affairs: Kjell, a schoolmate; Boris, a ballet dancer of Russian extraction; an unnamed pianist; Igi Polodori, an Italian director; Gio, Igi's riend; Warren Beatty; Patrick Lichfield, Gueen Elizabeth's cousin; George Hamilton; Ryan O'Neal; and Bubba, an American high-wire performer.

There are three (long) affairs: Count "Bino" Cicogna, an Italian nobleman, married at the time; Lou Adler, a record and film producer, technically married but not living with his wife at the time (produced a son, Nicholai, now 7); and Rod Stewart.

There are two rejected (implied) potential suitors: Lee Majors and Ron Ely.

There is hardly a page that goes by that doesn't find Britt in love.

I have loved many men, and I have lost many men. Some have come to chip rough edges smooth, others to provide a broad shoulder to cry on, and there are those who have led me helplessly into blind alleys. -- Britt Ekland

She sits in a suite at the Mayflower Hotel, looking beautiful, so beautiful that the fresh-cut flowers in front of her should blush. She is gracious, charming and disarming, telling an interviewer that she was just as the middle of ironing a blouse. (Britt Ekland ironing? Whenever did she learn?) She is here to talk about her book, and her life, and you should please be comfortable because there are no secrets.

"People ask me if I've left anything out," she says, smiling and tilting her head at a photographer's camera. "Would you like to ask me?"

Okay. Did you leave anything out?

"No, nothing at all . . . Some of the names, granted, are superfluous. Ryan O'Neal, for example -- is was such a short affair. Maybe it sounds better to have some of the names. Maybe it helps sales.I don't feel however many lovers there are in that book is an extraordinary amount for a woman my age [38], considering I've been married only once."

Regrets?

None.

Take anything back?

"Can you? I think not."

Tell any of your former lovers you were writing this?

"No."

Any of them say anything to you since the publication?

"No. Why would they? What difference would it make? None to them. None to me. It's written. It's out."

How do you feel about it now that it's in the open?

"I was scared at first. I took myself terribly seriously. Now I can giggle and have fun with it. I feel better. The curiosity is satisfied. Now it's time to move on."

The statistics of the celluloid industry show that I have made 25 movies, but none, alas, has borne such scrutiny or provoked so much consternation and controversy as my private life. Forbid this should be my epitaph. -- Britt Ekland

At first she didn't want to write it.

After breaking up with Rod Stewart, she says, a London newspaper offered her "$200,000 to write about Rod. I said, 'No.' It was unthinkable. What we had was so private and ended so painfully. But because in Europe particularly I have been so much publicized and very often so unfairly, I began to think about it. I looked at all the twisted stories about me, at all the things that were just so completely fabricated, and slowly it dawned on me that since so much about my life had already been exposed, I might as well fill in the holes.

"So I did.

"Why not do it? If it has been evident that you have something to tell, why not do it now? Why wait? Who cares about someone writing an autobiography in her 80s, telling about what a good time she had in her 20s?"

She will not say how much she received for the book, other than that she gets a percentage of the sales -- "so if the book sells well, I make money."

But it might do her relatively comatose career some good.

"I have a feeling that the opportunity of promoting the book will help my career. The appearances, mind you, I'm not saying the book will. It gives me a chance to show people I am not really this jet-setting, much publicized, love-affair person -- I may have been. But I am not now."

And that, of course, leads us to image.

Who is this Britt Ekland, this Swedish bombshell who seems to turn up once a month in the gossips?

"I used to be confused with so many others. I was everybody. I was Elke Sommer and Sue Lyon and Julie Christie. Now I am definitely Britt Ekland, and I love it. I think the people think of me as a celebrity. They know I'm an actress, but I don't have that much work out there, so they probably know me from my work on 'Hollywood Squares,' 'Love Boat' and 'Fantasy Island.'

"I want to keep my name out there. I don't want them to forget it."

Rod came into my life six weeks after I parted from Lou, and I rose back into the sky like a gull whose oil-soaked wings had been cleansed by a detergent. -- Britt Ekland

She didn't actually write it.

Someone named Don Short did. He is a longtime friend of hers, and she describes him as someone "who used to be a journalist."

It is written from extensive tapes they made, and Ekland says she "tried very hard to make it sound like me, and not him."

She says she is proud that she "didn't make myself a little sweet nothing who's been done hard by."

In the book she is hard on Sellers, whom she paints an erratic, sometimes violent, unreasonably jealous and often depressed husband. She also says of Stewart that he liked her to wear virginal white, which she could then peel "off like the leaves of an artichoke." She describes him as having "appalling stinginess." Adler and Stewart -- two of her three major long-term attachments -- both cheated on her.

"I was better than they were," she says flatly. "Emotionally, I was better.I was loyal. I did my part."

She never curses in the book, nor does she go into graphic detail about any of her affairs, short or long. For a book about romance it is virtually devoid of sex. It may be the only G-rated shack-up in history.

"I'm not the star of a porno movie," she says. "If I had, for example, rated my lovers, it would have been obscene."