An old friend was contemplating a change of jobs. Dennis knew I'd had professional experience writing resumes and he asked for my help.

The most effective type, I told him, is the "functional" resume: designed to highlight practical experience and expertise.

Dennis said he wasn't familiar with that kind; he has always used the "chronological," listing employment dates, job titles, employers, etc. Did I have an example? I pulled out a copy of my resume and handed it to him.


Chief Executive Officer -- Supervised small, non-profit organization.

Budget and Finance Director -- Responsible for overseeing expenditures.

Purchasing Manager, Head Buyer -- In charge of acquisitions, ordering of goods and services, inventory control.

Negotiator/Arbiter -- In charge of labor disputes and conflict resolution between management and subordinates.

Ombudsman -- Oversaw impartial reporting of complaints to other management personnel.

Maintenance Foreman -- Administered and executed necessary maintenance and repair procedures to physical plant.

Landscape Designer -- Designed and maintained exterior landscaping, plantings and grounds.

Interior Designer -- Established design criteria and executed necessary maintenance and repair procedures to physical plant.

Travel Planner/Coodinator -- Responsible for all aspects of individual and group travel plans inside and outside of U.S.

Transportation Director -- Arranged for, acquired and helped maintain and operated various kinds of transportation equipment for both short and long-haul use.

Recreation and Social Director -- Responsible for planning and executing activities for individuals, small and large groups.

Educational Coordinator -- Administered and oversaw planning of educational programs and classes.

Teacher/Instructor -- Designed and taught numerous subjects, lessons, courses and activities.

Child Guidance Counselor -- Specialized in experiential, "hands-on" activities for youngsters and interaction and communications with youth.

Dietician/Chef -- Supervised all functions pertaining to diet- and menu-planning through food preparation for individuals, small and large groups.

Medical Administrator -- Procured and oversaw health program and administered benefits of same to management and subordinates.

There was more.

Dennis stopped reading. "Is this," he asked, "for real?"

"What do you mean? Of course it's for real."

"You expect me to believe you've actually had all this experience? Nobody could have done all the things you've claimed."

"Well, I have," I informed him. "And what's more, I've gotten all that experience in the last four years."

"Now I know. . . . You've been a househusband for the last four years."