Yablans insists that "Mommie Dearest" should be taken seriously, but John and Bo Derek long ago decided to go along with their audience and agree that "Tarzan" was supposed to be a joke all along -- it's just that they didn't want to sound presumptuous by announcing that beforehand, John says. After making that movie -- in which the title character says not a word -- the Dereks have found the perfect co-star for their next project: "Legend of the Lone Ranger" star Klinton Spilsbury, all of whose lines in that film were later dubbed by another actor. Spilsbury will be featured in either "Adam and Eve" or "Pirate," the duo's next two projects -- both featuring John as director and Bo as producer and star.

But Bo and John's pirate movie will have some competition by the time it hits the screens. A couple of versions of "The Pirates of Penzance" are being planned, as well as "The Pirate Movie," the first Australian film to pick up guaranteed worldwide distribution rights. Differences of opinion arose early on between original director Richard Franklin, who was looking to make a Gilbert and Sullivan-style film, and the producers, who wanted a youth-oriented musical. Now Franklin has been replaced by Ken Annakin ("The Longest Day," "Those Magnificent Men in Their Flying Machines"), some Gilbert and Sullivan songs are being replaced by new material from Olivia Newton-John's songwriter, Trevor Farrant, and Kristy McNichol's set to star. Sounds like a far cry from Australian films like "Breaker Morant" and "Gallipoli," which have garnered significant attention lately in this country.