Tears in the beers among the Deeply Investigative today. Jack Anderson's hot mag, The Investigator, is reported clamping shut, after only three juicy issues. (Isn't it awful? Most avid readers barely had time to whiz in their two clams for Jack's Personally Autographed Premier Issue.) Well, darlings. Blot your bifocals. The Big I, as we all called it, is apparently just crashing so Jack can drop the unfortunately named Jay J. Armes, who owns a piece of it but whose name has vanished from the masthead. Jack says that poor Jay J. got suspended and offended after Jack grumbled about his partly "fabricated background." Meanwhile, it's getting complicated. Jay J., chatting in El Paso, says he hasn't heard a squeak about the mag closing. "And if anyone should know, We should know." (The Investigatory We, you know.) He still owns 30 percent. Meanwhile, on the way: A brand-new mag, briskly yclept The Investigative Reporter. Its editor and publisher: Jack Anderson. By Himself. Maybe there'll be two such mags now. Ear does not ask for this type of Hard Gossip. It's the sort that dribbles in on rainy days. Read on for more.