In a glaring case of the pot insulting the kettle, the Michael Crichton film "Looker" keeps sneering at television for being mindless and lascivious trash. Actually, "Looker" is so mindless it doesn't even justify its own silly premise, and so lascivious that it keeps announcing that its own collection of indistinguishably bland starlets represents physical perfection. The villain of this film is that current cinematic convention of evil personified, the American Businessman. Played by James Coburn, he, with the help of the American Businesswoman, played by Leigh Taylor- Young, is on the verge of achieving his professional ambition of controlling the world, while actively pursuing the typical business hobby of murder. But wait. The hero is worse. Albert Finney appears as a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon whose inability to solve the murders of his patients is exceeded only by his unsuitability for his profession. For one thing, he operates on four young women whose desire for minute changes he admits to be evidence of nuttiness. The ethical justification for this is provided by his assistant, who argues that if this doctor doesn't do it, someone else will -- and then proposes himself as a social companion for the patients. Another thing is that the doctor does a bum job. When each patient is healed and pronounced perfect, she has prominent bags under the eyes. The heroine is a bubble-gum-chewing model who accepts a two-year assignment that will pay her $200,000 with the duties unspecified except that the first requirement is that she take off all her clothes. Having these people running around trying to kill one another is not so bad. But when they make frequent pauses to sneer at the public for watching television, that's too much.

LOOKER -- At the AMC Academy, Flower Twins, Jerry Lewis Cinema, K-B Baronet West, K-B Congressional Plaza, Laurel Towne Center, NTI Landover Mall, NTI Springfield Cinema, Roth's Tysons Corner, Showcase Beacon Mall, Showcase Fair City Mall, Showcase Mercado and Tenley Circle.