I have finally had it. I bit the bullet when the florists, restaurateurs and card companies came out with "Secretary's Week" and "Grandparents Day," but now they have gone too far. On my lunch hour the other day I walked past a card shop that had a sign in its window: Buy your "Boss Day" cards here. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Boss Day was celebrated last month, by someone. I didn't even bother to jot down the exact date in my little pocket calendar, because I refuse to kowtow any longer to the industries promoting these "made-up" holidays. Perhaps my anger centers on the fact that none of these holidays applies to me. I am never the celebrated one, and when I refuse to submit to the pressures of fabricated holidays I get poorly typed letters from my secretary for two and a half weeks and recriminations from a mother-in-law mortally wounded because she didn't get a card on "her" day. Well, folks, its time to celebrate my holidays. Holidays that you too may fit into, and if no one calls you on your day, or takes you out to lunch or buys you flowers -- revolt! Perhaps you would like to see "Non-mothers Day." This holiday is designed for those of us over 30 and married ten years or more who have not succumbed to the pleadings of in-laws and the scorn of friends for not reproducing. Or perhaps you'd get laurels stewn upon you on "Happy Midmanagement Day," set aside to honor those of us dedicated to Murphy's Law and the Peter Principle. I do not see how we have gone this long without "Honor Your Volkswagen Day." I have been driving the same little Beetle for over 10 years now, and I know other VW drivers with vintage models who feel the same loving sentiments as I do for their "bugs." Perhaps we could hve greeting cars printed up like little license plates and exchange them once a year. So don't get depressed if you are constantly being barraged by holidays that seem to crop up overnight. Help is on the way. I hear November 30 is being set aside as "Let's Take a Break from Holidays Day." You can purchase your cards with matching wrapping paper, stationery and tablecloths at your local store.