"It's an Old Acting Trick. You focus all attention back there, and you keep smiling. It works!" -- Maureen Reagan, "clapping her backside with both hands," as the saucy little Palm Beach News pipes. Mo was telling a talky troupe of Textile Titans how she copes with hostile reporters . . . " "What turns me off? Rundown shoes, stinginess, dirty fingernails, hairy bodies, possessiveness, lack of discipline" -- Monique van Vooren, in Forum. (Far more than Old Acting Tricks here, darlings. She's a hotshot author, too. Who isn't?) . . . "Everyone in L.A. wears cowboy boots so they can see over other people's heads at parties who's important. I wear them to see who's coming so I can get out of the way" -- Robert Guillaume. (More Old Acting Tricks, darlings. Ear just passes these along so we can keep up with the Californians, this Social Season) . . . "Important Social Security Notice Enclosed" -- Stamped on the envelopes of fund-raising letters from the Democratic National Committee . . . "I'd love to have my own radio show. It's great. If it's entertaining, why not?" Rep. John Le Boutillier. (John took over a talk-show Thanksgiving Day, from New York chatterhost Bob Grant. Among callers-in: Ronald Reagan, who gave John's book "Harvard Hates America" a rave review. No Old Acting Tricks were swapped) . . . "Some manufacturer actually tried to get them (the astronauts) to take inflatable Ursula Andress dolls to the moon" -- Scribe Tom Wolfe, who's brooding on a sequel to his book "The Right Stuff" . . . "Very Black Tie" -- Dress note engraved on Fred and Gale Hayman's invite to a scent-launching soiree on Rodeo Drive. You figure it out, please. Tomorrow: Ear's Old Acting Trick.