Among the common "marital myths" that counselor Mel Krantzler says can lead to divorce:
* The Movie Marriage in Your Mind: An accumulation of misconceptions about what married life must be like. When reality doesn't fit these "Ozzie and Harriet" fantasies, spouses may feel unloved and seek substitute satisfactions.
* My Spouse Is an Extension of Myself: Partners think their spouse should meet their every emotional and physical need. When these unrealistic expectations aren't met, they feel ripped off and angry.
* Love Is a Possession: Spouses consider love something you win or lose and must jealously guard. The very act of considering love a "thing" to hold onto guarantees its loss.
* Good Marriages Are Problem-Free: The couple doesn't realize, or admit, that no marriage is problem-free. When problems occur, they decide they have a bad marriage. They pout and agonize instead of trying to find constructive solutions.
* Playing Rigid Power-Based Roles: Variations include the Exploiter and the Exploited, the Loser and the Winner, the Long-Suffering Husband and the Constantly-Nagging Wife. They can't (or don't want) to change this state of affairs.
* I'd Rather Be Right Than Happy: Spouses feel unloved, cheated and victimized and become extremely defensive. Proving that they are good--and right--becomes paramount . . . even more important than happiness.