Oh, dear. The frisky little Washington Monthly's plunged in where the Major Media fear to dabble their pinkies. Everyone's chattering about January's issue, which fingers Best and Worst senators here, as picked by peers and the press corps. Hold tight, please. The Best: Tennessee's Howard Baker ("the glue and grease" that keep the machine rolling); New Jersey's Bill Bradley ("brilliant new moves"); New Mexico's Pete Domenici ("thoughtful conservative"); Colorado's Gary Hart ("diligent, contemplative and no-nonsense"); Massachusetts' Teddy Kennedy ("energetic and adroit"); Indiana's Richard Lugar ("smart, capable and oddly quiet"); Wyoming's Alan Simpson ("hard worker"); and Vermont's Robert Stafford ("an effective diplomat"). Now, really hold tight, for the Monthly's Worst: Alabama's Jeremiah Denton ("obsessed"); Florida's Paula Hawkins ("militantly fluffy"); California's S.I. Hayakawa ("has trouble not sleeping"); North Carolina's Jesse Helms ("chief bully"); New Hampshire's Gordon Humphrey ("never does much"); Iowa's Roger Jepsen ("the picture of perfect pin-striped tidiness"). And, the two big Surprise Worsts, New York's Sen. Pat Moynihan ("has accomplished virtually nothing"), and Rhode Island's Claiborne Pell, who "has been known to silence a room full of people discussing important national issues by mentioning that he was blessed with a wonderful nanny." Heavens. Surely they all clammed up because they wanted to hear more about Nanny? Ear certainly does.