Ninety minutes of "Shock Treatment" feels like a week in "Mister Rogers' Neighborhood," a Quaalude interlude, a quart of Sanka laced with Valium. No jolt.

Only the audience gets the treatment in this sequel to the cult film, "The Rocky Horror Show," a musical about a couple trapped in a TV studio. Despite flashy lights, splashy sets and plump girls in tight white corsets, "S.T.'s" a bore -- a blatant try for teeny-punk bucks. It's a lesson for filmmakers: You can't force a cult film, they just happen.

Richard O'Brien, who wrote the screenplay and much of the score -- a kind of verveless salute to blenders, toasters and Aviance nights -- is a villain in more ways than two. He also stars as funk-video shrink Dr. Cosmo (the skinhead featured on the posters), who tranquilizes hero Brad Majors so that fast-foods executive Farley Flavors can seduce his wife Janet.

Cliff De Young -- often bound and gagged -- plays both Brad and Farley. Jessica Harper, last seen as Steve Martin's wife in "Pennies From Heaven," costars as Janet, supposedly as all-American as the proverbial pie. If so, the girl next door has anorexia and melancholia. But she is talented. Despite her flaws, Mrs. Majors becomes a superstar on a mental-health series after winning the game show, "Marriage Maze," hosted by a blind vampire named Bert Schnick (Barry Humphries).

Well, Bert, Brad, Janet, et al. were better off in old Transylvania at the transvestite convention. Their further adventures in videoland make the days of our lives seem dreary indeed. If this is a lampoon, it is certainly a limp-wristed one with less to say about how the world turns than a Pine Sol commercial.

So "Rocky Horror" fans, keep your toast for the original. SHOCK TREATMENT -- At the AMC Academy, AMC Skyline, Jenifer Cinema and Springfield Mall. Friday, Saturday and Sunday midnight shows only.