If slumber-party pillow fights promise too many shattered lamps, parents may want to get a copy of a new paperback, The Second Cooperative Sports and Games Book, by Terry Orlick (Pantheon Books, $8.95).

The section on games for children 8 through 12 has suggestions guaranteeing lots of activity with a minimum of violence. For example:

Frozen Shoes: " . . . each person walks, hops, spins, runs, or dances around while balancing an upside-down shoe on her head. If the shoe falls off, the child is frozen and a friend must pick up the shoe and replace it on the child's head--upside down--to unfreeze her. Hugs can also unfreeze people, as long as the hugger doesn't lose his own shoe in the process . . . "

And to calm everyone down with a movie, turn to your local library: District of Columbia

Films can be borrowed from the Martin Luther King Library, 901 G St. NW., if a request is made in writing, three days in advance. Maryland

Montgomery County: Films may be ordered through the local branch libraries by giving three-weeks' notice.

Prince George's County: Video discs and films available to cardholders who make their request in writing at their branch library two weeks before they need the film. Virginia

Alexandria: Films and video discs available.

Arlington County: Cardholders must register at the audio-visual office of the central library, 1015 N. Quincy St., Arlington. Two weeks' advance notice required.

Fairfax County: Two-week notice required through the branch libraries for video discs and films.

Loudon County: Films can be obtained with three-week notice through the Leesburg library.