Burt Reynolds s a quiche-eating kind of guy plays partners with Goldie Hawn in "Best Friends." (It's hard to say whose dimples are deeper as they cuddle through this romantic romp.)

It's about a couple of screenwriters who live together, get married and go back East to visit their in-laws. It was written by Valerie Curtin and Barry Levinson, a couple of screenwriters who lived together, got married and went back East to visit their inlaws. It's catchy script -- sort of West Coast Neil Simon.

Hawn and Reynolds waited to team up till this script came along -- "the kind they used to write for Cary Grant and Jean Arthur," he says -- one with equally strong male and female leads. But Reynolds' masterful mugging and lunky, hunky body lingo still gets the better of Hawn's kooky, pandaeyed performance.

As live-in lovers, they ruin a beautiful relationship by marrying. After a quickie wedding in a barrio chapel, they shuttle off to Buffalo to a freezing welcome in her hometown. Here "Best Friends" goes "On Golden Pond," with Tony-award winners Jessica Tandy and Barnard Hughes as Hawn's mom and pop. Hijinks ensue and Hawn realizes her folks now need the parenting, especially dad who hides porno under his socks and jumps the cleaning woman.

The newlyweds then head for his ancestral condominium in Tysons Corner -- one roof over 18,000 heads. His mom (Audra Lindley), the family pararazo, shoots first and asks questions later. She's ever without her Instamatic and shrill Southern accent. It's a weak gag and the film wears thin about here. The parents are kind of blah bureaucrats and Hawn's too whiney. Finally she overdoses on Valium and falls face first in her chicken salad. The couple returns to Los Angeles and walks off into the sunset.

This all proves you can go home again, but it's grounds for divorce.

BEST FRIENDS -- K-B Georgetown Square, K-B Silver, K-B Janus, Old Town, Reston Twin, Roth's Tysons Corner, Tenley Circle, Showcase Pike, Showcase Waldorf.