Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel, who held their smash reunion concert in New York's Central Park two years ago, will tour together for the first time in 13 years and are scheduled to perform at RFK Stadium Sunday, Aug. 14.

The tour will begin July 19 at Akron's Rubber Bowl. Someone thought to ask the obvious question, "Why Akron?" and was told, "Ohio has always been a good market for rock concerts." The tour is scheduled to include 16 other cities.

Wearing his sword, a bright sash and a dramatically bemedaled uniform, British Amabassador Sir Oliver Wright presented Order of the British Empire awards yesterday. One of the awards went to O.B. Hardison Jr., director of the Folger Shakespeare Library. Hardison was recognized as an Officer of the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire (OBE) for his reputation as a scholar, writer and active figure in English literature studies.

Among others honored: Royal Navy Commander Andrew William Netherclift, currently U.S. Naval Sea Systems Command liaison officer here, received Commander of the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire, and Henry Douglas Eade, the ambassador's chauffeur, and Benjamin Jefferson Rious, the embassy stockroom foreman, received the British Empire Medal.

Most of the members of the Senate remember their maiden speeches in the chamber with some warmth, but that doesn't mean they will be there to support a freshman making his first address. Sen. Frank R. Lautenberg went there yesterday for his maiden speech and only Majority Leader Howard Baker and Minority Leader Robert C. Byrd were around to hear him.

In welcoming the New Jersey Democrat, Baker pointed out that he clearly remembered making his maiden speech on revenue sharing in January 1967. He had "prepared for it at great length and with ardor and diligence and I arrived here and delivered it to an empty chamber." He assured Lautenberg, however, that his remarks would be read by both members and staff in the Congressional Record.

With just a touch of polite sarcasm, Lautenberg thanked the majority leader and said, "Mine is a relatively simple subject. It is the information age and its implications on our society and our globe."

There's probably an organization somewhere for stray cats with torn right ears and gimpy left legs, so why not an organization for left-handers? Lefthanders International has selected the Lefthander of the Year, and that honor went to actress Goldie Hawn, who also was selected Lefthanded Female Entertainer of the Year.

The other left-handed winners: actor/producer Michael Landon, Male Entertainer of the Year; singer Crystal Gayle, Musician of the Year. In sports, Larry Bird of the Boston Celtics, Basketball Player of the Year; Jimmy Connors, Tennis Player of the Year, and Reggie Jackson, Baseball Player of the Year. Vice President George Bush was elected Public Figure of the Year and Benjamin Franklin the Historical Figure of the Year.

Maybe it means something. Last year, Bush had to share the public-figure award with Sen. Robert Dole.

The "D.C. Cab" movie company took over Garvin's Laugh Inn, Washington's showplace for stand-up comedians, Sunday night. It was exciting stuff for Garvin's sidewalk cafe patrons and people in the Connecticut Avenue neighborhood as the limousines disgorged the recognizable stars for the private party inside. Mr. T with his seven bodyguards; Gary Busey, star of "The Buddy Holly Story"; Max Gail, Wojo on "Barney Miller"; Whitman Mayo, Grady from "Sanford and Son," and Dwayne Jesse from "Car Wash."

They ate chicken and ribs and watched "The Buddy Holly Story," which was being shown on ABC television that evening. After it was over, Busey sang songs from the movie, backed up by his 12-year-old son on drums and Gail on piano.

Actress Celeste Holm almost didn't make it to Broadway's Tony Awards Sunday when a 5-foot-long flowing scarf she was wearing around her neck caught in the wheel of a taxi and she immediately thought of the memorable death of dancer Isadora Duncan. Duncan died in 1927 in Nice, France, when a long scarf she was wearing twisted into the wheel of a car.

As Holm's cab turned a corner, the scarf caught on the left wheel and Holm was slammed against the inside of the car screaming. "I was very lucky . . . if he'd gone another five feet, my neck would have been broken," she explained yesterday. She rejected an offer to go to the hospital and continued to the Tony Awards because she didn't want to disappoint awards producer Alex Cohen, who had provided her with tickets. END NOTES:

Army Secretary John O. Marsh Jr. will present the Defense Department's Distinguished Public Service Medal to actress Bette Davis Saturday for her "dedicated, continuing support of the American armed forces." The presentation will be made at the Army Ball in Los Angeles . . .

Prince Rainier of Monaco told The Times of London that he would eventually like to abdicate in favor of his 25-year-old son, Prince Albert, but sees no need to hurry. He said he wants to move aside before he is too old to be of assistance to Albert in his first years on the throne. The decision will be made, he added, when the two of them agree that the younger prince is ready . . .

And for those who think nothing much ever happens in Buffalo, it will this July when Robert Redford is there playing the aging baseball player in the movie "The Natural," adapted from the novel by Bernard Malamud . . .

Natalia Makarova, who won a Tony for best actress in a musical for her performance in "On Your Toes," will step down June 14, when Galina Panova takes over the role of Vera Baronova in her Broadway debut . . .

Isaac Stern and Zubin Mehta will receive the Joseph Prize for Human Rights at the annual B'nai B'rith Anti-Defamation League dinner at the Convention Center tonight. Sen. Henry Jackson will be the keynote speaker . . .

A California company called Iwasaki is marketing a head of iceberg lettuce made of vinyl with a little jar inside in which to hide valuables from thieves. Unfortunately, the firm has forgotten that someone could probably eat it and not be able to tell the difference from the real thing . . .