A dentist in Roanoke named M. A. Tartar? A minister named John Wesley Lord? A chiropractor named Dr. Bumback? A podiatrist named Jeffrey Tredwell?
These are but a few of the hundreds of PFLNs (or Perfect Fit Last Names) to have crossed my desk since I put out the call for them a few days ago.
What's a PFLN? A name that describes the bearer's occupation to ironic, amusing perfection. What follows is a PFLN all-star team--the best of the best:
"As a civilian employe of the Montgomery County Police," writes Carol Ellis, "I can proudly say I work for Bernard D. Crooke, the chief of police."
Tom Ede of Southeast nominates a Coast Guard yeoman he once knew who was assigned to secretarial duty. He was named Ditto.
How could we forget our own astronaut Sally Ride? (thanks, Jim Dinegar).
Dore Sharf says he and his wife bowl with an accountant named Bill Dollar.
In the Alexandria sheriff's office, reports Kate Brooks, there's an Officer Prokop.
And in Washington, Pa., says Lori Curtis of Annandale, there's an orthodontist named Dr. Toothman.
Here's a different one: Sibyl Fine writes that her optometrist is named Dr. Stephen Glasser. "When I was referred to him," says Sibyl, "his name convinced me that he was serious about his profession." Punchline: they're now engaged.
Larry Blackhurst of Annandale reports a goodie lurking in the media: Bill Headline, bureau chief for Cable News Network.
Amazing is all I can say to and about Joanne Book. She works for a publishing company in Rockville. "If you want to embellish the story further," Joanne writes, "my mother's name is Mrs. Magazine. She was a widow who married Mr. Magazine three years ago. What's even more ironic is that Mr. Magazine's daughter married a Mr. Press."
Connie Pattee of Fairfax reports she had her appendix removed in Norfolk 15 years ago by a Dr. W.D. Payne.
Podiatrists are especially well represented in PFLN-dom. Dr. Charles Shuffle used to practice downtown, note Jonathan P. Marget of Northwest and Ruth Darmstadter of Bethesda. Dr. L. Allen Korn has an office on Connecticut Avenue. And several readers called in Dr. Ronald A. Footer of Gaithersburg.
Dr. Seth Koch, who's a veterinarian in Gambrills, Md., reports two fellow DVMs: Dr. Mike Bassett in Arlington and a Dr. Dove in Fredericksburg.
Ben Willis of McLean may have found the oldest PFLN. In a recent issue of the McLean Providence Journal, a past history column noted that in 1904 there was a local lumberman named R.W. Woodyard.
Jan Eiland called to say that out at Seidel Chevrolet in Landover, one of the body shop employes is named Bob Dent.
Gnashing of teeth! Right under the very roof where I write, I neglected Gary A. Cameron, known to his friends as camera-on. Yup, he's a Post staff photographer.
Under that same roof, while collating donations to our Send a Kid to Camp campaign, I came across a check from George Largess of Northwest.
Ed Lehmann notes that Flood Plumbing & Heating is alive and well in Northeast. (Is the flood before or after they visit, Ed wonders?)
What was the name of the woman Steve Mohyla sponsored in the March of Dimes walkathon? Why, Marilyn Footman, of course.
Dorothy Withers of Chevy Chase remembers that the man who used to run the State Department's population affairs bureau was named Philander Claxton.
Gail Aquino reports that her daughter's pediatrician is Dr. Nicholas Fidis. He pronounces it FEET-us.
"A reader in New Carrollton" says she always gets a kick--and understandably so--from the name of the WASH-FM airborne traffic reporter, Walt Starling.
And John Childers of Chevy Chase has a memory to share. When he phoned in the obituary of a friend years ago to The Washington Star, "the phone was answered, 'Obituaries, Miss Coffin.' "