Quick takes:

Good to hear from my old buddy Eddie Crane . . . .If the name sounds familiar, it sure should. For a couple of zillion years, Eddie was Mr. High School Sports at The Washington Star . . . .Must have seen more touchdowns (and written about them) than any man alive . . . .Now he has found a drugstore cashier with a surpassing sense of humor . . . .While shopping for aspirin in the Peoples at Tysons Corner, Eddie noticed a box of Bayer marked "Sale Price $1.99/Regular Price $1.36" . . . .He marched up to the clerk, all set to complain like one of those outraged coaches you see on TV . . . .Said the clerk, simply: "Which price would you like to pay?" . . . .

Happy White Line Fever to William Boswell, a Yellow Cabbie who has just observed his 52nd (!) anniversary as a D.C. hacker . . . .

Disgusted by receiving an endless procession of solicitation letters each year, Robert Heppe of Fairfax decided to keep track of them throughout 1984 . . . .As of Oct. 30, his mailbox had groaned under the weight of 889 letters from 269 organizations . . . .Worst repeat offender: The National Organization of Women (27), "although I am not a woman and have never sent them a penny," notes Bob . . . .

More Metro Pronunciation Madness . . . .You thought "Elephant Plaza" for "L'Enfant Plaza" was bad? . . . .Joy N. Jepson of Silver Spring was pulling into the Archives station when her ears caught not Ahhr-kives, but Ahhr-chives . . . .What's next? Take-Homa? Get with it, Metro pilots . . . .

Amen Corner: . . . ."My gripe is about the commercial(s) that portray a child who is doing badly in school and needs a Brand X Computer to save his academic career," writes Jan Goldstein of Silver Spring . . . ."If a child cannot organize his/her work well enough without the help of a computer, the magic of electricity is not going to change the quality or content of the work done" . . . .

Time to have the carpets cleaned, thought Mary K. Clark of Clinton. So she called a big-name firm in town . . . .They quoted her a price of $72 for her living room, and arranged to come out in a few days . . . .As soon as they did, the hustle started: "Since we're here," wouldn't Mary like additional rooms done? Wouldn't she like some super-duper preserving treatment with a cherry on top? . . . .It was all Mary could do to say no. Then came the bill -- with a $14.95 service charge tacked on . . . ."They had never mentioned anything about a service charge," she said . . . .She paid it anyway, just to be done with the so-and-so's, "and I know I shouldn't have. Maybe others will see this in your column and have better resistance than I did" . . . .Let's hope so . . . .

Confidential to the man with the deep baritone: . . . .I wasn't trying to cut you off, sir. In fact, I was enjoying our discussion about bad manners aboard buses . . . .It's just that the other phone rang, and I tried to put you on hold with my left index finger, and it slipped somehow, and poof, you disappeared . . . .If I were a baseball card, I'd read: Bats Right, Throws Right, Pushes Hold Button Right . . . .I discover new incompetencies every day, and I'm sorry you were the victim of my latest . . . .Care to call back? . . . .

All it takes is one phone and lots of enterprise, and Deena Glass has both . . . .She's activities director at Fairland Nursing Home in Silver Spring, and she needed a van to transport some of her folks . . . .The Lions Club of Burtonsville rented one for Deena on the strength of just one phone call, and the Penn Jersey store of Ellicott City sprang for lunch . . . .Deena notes that help for needy outfits does not lurk solely in government offices . . . .Other nursing homes, please copy . . . .