Money no object? Some ideas:

Jet-propelled surfboard: Travels up to 30 m.p.h. and can be ridden in virtually any position, including lying down. About 4 hours on 2 1/2-gallon tank of gas, 115 lbs., $2,450 (freight collect). Hammacher Schlemmer, South East Operations Center, 115 Brand Rd., Salem, Va. 24156.

London Taxi: Driven by Santa and loaded with $1,000 of British Christmas presents, $20,000. Lands End, Dodgeville, Wis. 53595. To order: (800) 356-4444.

Mohonk Mystery Weekend: 75 of the best rooms in castle-like Mohonk Mountain House, New York's Shawangunk Mountains, where each year guests solve a "murder." Crime-fest host/perpetrator: mystery writer Donald E. Westlake. March 21-24, 1985. Room, meals and all expenses for up to three, plus some "detecting equipment," $750. Neiman-Marcus. For reservations: (214) 573-5780.

Romance: A love song written by Jeff Barry ("Leader of the Pack"), $7,500 (performed on videotape, $100,000); a dozen red roses a week for a year, $1,995; 10-week cruise from Athens to China for you, your beloved and 100 close friends. Food and services included, $5,300,000 (sail date: Summer 1986). Sakowitz. To place orders, call: Special Projects Office, (713) 951-3509/3511.