WHATEVER HAPPENED to those old-fashioned Christmas trees we all loved so much? Remember the tree grandma used to have? That green aluminum one she kept fully decorated in the attic until December first? They just don't make 'em like that anymore.

In this newfangled age, people don't seem to have time to assemble aluminum trees. They take the easy way out. They go to Christmas tree farms and buy trees that grow in the ground. Heck, anybody can do that. Let's see one of those natural Christmas tree lovers assemble a "U-Make It Easy Snap Tree With Attached Nativity Scene." They'd need every inch of Christmas spirit just to get the dang thing out of its box.

But, hey, that's all right. If you goldbrickers want natural trees you cut down yourself, well, that's just what you'll get. Here's a list of places inhe area where you can cut down your very own, made-by-Mother-Nature-herself tree; expect to pay around $2 per foot. Just don't call us complaining when you take it home and the kids cry, "Awwwww, we wanted one of those silver trees made out of metal!" MARYLAND ANNE ARUNDEL MASQUE FARM -- one mile southwest of Annapolis. Open 9 to 4 daily. White and Scotch pine and Norway and blue spruce. From U.S. 50 take Route 2 south, left on Route 665 (Forest Drive), right on Route 387 (Spa Road) and follow it to farm. Call 301/757-4454. BALTIMORE COUNTY FROSTEE TREE FARM -- near Whitemarsh Mall. By appointment only on weekdays, 9 to 5:30 weekends. White and Austrian Pine, Douglas and Fraser Fir, Norway, Blue and White Spruce. From I-95 north exit at Route 40 east, left on Ebenezer Road (becomes Cowenton Avenue) to sign on left. Call 301/687- 3344 or 301/256-5560. GOOD FELLOWSHIP FARM -- one mile east of Towson. 9 to 4:30 weekends, weekdays from December 14 through 24th open 1 to 4:30. White Pine. From the Baltimore Beltway exit 29 east (Cromwell Bridge Road) to sign on left. No calls. LOCKSLEY TREE FARM -- near Jacksonville. Open 10 to 5 daily. White, Scotch and Austrian pine, Douglas fir, blue and white spruce. From Baltimore Beltway exit 27, go north on Dulaney Valley Road (Route 146), follow Route 146 north half a mile past Jacksonville, bear right on Stansberry Mill Road, turn right to farm. Call 301/666-2652. PINEHURST NURSERY -- about six miles northeast of Towson. Open 8 to 4:30 Monday through Saturday, 9 to 4:30 Sunday through December 23. Scotch and white pine, Douglas fir, Norway spruce. From Baltimore Beltway take the Dulaney Valley Road-north exit, right on Long Green Road to sign on right. 301/592-5030. VENTURA FARMS -- near Butler. Open Wednesday through Sunday 9 to 4. White and Scotch pine, Douglas fir, Norway and Blue spruce. From Baltimore Beltway take Falls Road north past Shawan Road, go five miles to Butler Road and look for sign. Call 301/771-4510. CALVERT COUNTY ELMWOOD FARM -- near Dunkirk. Open December 16, daily, 1 to dusk; 2 to dusk, Sunday. Scotch pine. From Beltway take Route 4 south 22 miles, left at Mt. Harmony Road, 3/10-mile to sign on right. Call 301/586-2292. CARROLL COUNTY DAVIDSON FARM -- seven miles north of Reistertown. Open 9 to 5 weekends, 9:30 to 5 weekdays. White and Scotch pine, Fraser fir, Norway spruce. From Baltimore Beltway exit 20, take Reistertown Road north to Route 30 toward Hampstead, turn left on Fringer Road to Carrollton Road, left at Emory Church Road to sign. Call 301/374-2348. PINE VALLEY FARM -- near Woodbine. Open 1 to 4 weekdays, 9 to dark weekends. Red, white, Scotch and Austrian Pine, Douglas fir, Norway and blue Spruce. Take I-70 exit 71, north on Woodbine Road four miles, right on Fannie Dorsey Road to sign on left. 301/795-8314. FREDERICK COUNTY CLEMSONVILLE CHRISTMAS TREE FARM -- three miles east of Libertytown. Open 10 to 5 daily through December 24. Scotch and white pine. From Baltimore Beltway take Route 26 west (Liberty Road), right on Clemsonville Road to signs. From Frederick take Route 26 East, left on Clemsonville Road to sign. 301/876-8733. FRANZ TREE FARM -- three miles west of Damascus. Open 9 to 5 weekends. White, Scotch and Austrian pine and Norway spruce. From I-270 take Route 27 north past Damascus, left at Route 80, left at Overlook Lane to farm. Or from I-70, take Route 27 south 4 miles, turn right at Route 80. Call 301/831-6840. UNIONVILLE TREE FARM -- two miles south of Unionville. Open 9 to 4 weekends through December 23. White and Scotch pine, Douglas and Fraser fir, Norway and blue spruce. From Baltimore Beltway take Route 26 west (Liberty Road) for 30 miles, left at Clemsonville Road, right at Woodville Road, two miles to sign on left. Call 301/829-2799 or 301/751-1237.

WOODVILLE FOREST FARM -- six miles northwest of Mt. Airy. Open 9 to 4 weekends through December 22. White, Scotch and Austrian pine, Douglas fir, Blue spruce. From I-70 or Route 40 take Route 27 into Mt. Airy business district, turn left at Prospect Road, right at Old Annapolis Road, right on Woodville Road, right on Peddicord Road to sign. Call 301/829-1478. HOWARD COUNTRY GLEN ARBOR FARM -- about three miles south of West Friendship. Open 9 to dark weekends. Scotch and white pine. From the Beltway, take Route 29 (Colesville Road) north to Route 32 north, left on Pfefferkorn to sign on left. Call 301/730-0201. LARRILAND FARM -- near Lisbon, about 10 miles east of Mount Airy. Open 9 to 5 daily through December 23. Scotch and white pine and firs. From I-70, take Route 94 south to farm. Call 854-6110 or 301/442-2605. WATERFORD FARM -- about four miles south of Glenwood. Open 3 to 9 weekdays, 8 to 5 Saturday, 10 to 5 Sunday. Scotch, Austrian and white Pine and Douglas fir. From I-70, take Route 97 south, right on Jenning's Chapel Road, bear right on Daisy Road to sign on right. Call 301/442-2952. MONTGOMERY COUNTY CIDER AND GINGER TREE FARM -- about four miles west of Poolesville. Open daily 6 to 6. Scotch pine. Take I-270 to Rockville exit, west on Route 28 to Route 107, left nine miles through Poolesville, left at Elmer School Road, one mile to sign. Call 301/349-5693. MG TREE FARM -- nine miles west of Damascus. Open by appointment only through December 24. Scotch pine, Douglas fir. I-270 north to Route 118 East to Route 355 North to Route 27 East to sign on the left. 301/253-2636. PRINCE GEORGE'S COUNTY TANNER FARM -- about 20 miles southeast of Washington. Open 9 to 9 Saturday, 10 to 7 Sunday through December 23. White and Scotch pine, Norway spruce. From Beltway, take Route 5 south eight miles, left at Route 381, left at Baden-Westwood Road, 3/4 mile to sign. Call 301/579-2238. TALBOT COUNTY HUTCHISON BROTHERS FARM -- nine miles east of Easton. Open 10 to dark weekdays, 8 to dark Saturday. White, Scotch and Austrian pine, Douglas fir, blue and white spruce. From U.S. 50 south, turn east at Route 328, left on Lewistown Road to sign. Call 301/820-2093. VIRGINIA FAIRFAX COUNTY PERE NOEL FARM -- Clifton. Open daily, 9 to dark. Scotch and white pine. Take the Beltway to exit 5 W at Braddock Road, left onto Clifton Road, right on Compton Road, right on Briarcroft Road to second house on the left (brick barn). Call before coming, 703/631-9866. FREDERICK COUNTY DANNY-DAYLE CHRISTMAS TREE PLANTATION -- Winchester. Open weekends 8:30 to 4:30 until Christmas. Scotch and white pine, spruce and fir. Take Route 7 east to Winchester, turn north on Route 656, left on Route 661 to farm. Or take Route 11 north of Winchester, east on Route 661 two miles to farm. Call 703/662-9026. PINEHILL TREE FARM -- Winchester. Open 9 to 5 daily. Scotch and white pine. Take U.S. 50 about five miles west of Winchester, turn onto private dirt road about 100 yards past intersection with Route 608, follow arrows. Call 703/877-1643. PINETOP TREE FARM -- near Gore. Open 9 to dark Thursday through Sunday. White pine. Take U.S. 50 west from Winchester 10 miles, turn left on Route 751 into Gore, turn left at Route 704, right on Route 617, half a mile to a white house on ridge. Call 703/858-3381. SCUTTLEBUTT TREE FARM -- Winchester. Open 9 to 5 weekends. Sheared white pine. North from Winchester on Route 522 to Gainesboro, right onto Route 600, left on Route 689. Call 703/888-3442. SHERWOOD CHRISTMAS TREE FARM -- Near Winchester. Open 8 to 5 daily. White pine and Scotch pine. North from Winchester on Route 522 to Gainesboro, right on Route 694 at Reynolds Store, take first private lane on the left to the farm. Call 703/888-3597 or 3061. WALNUT RIDGE FARM -- Clear Brook, near Winchester. Open 9 to 5 weekends. White and Scotch pine. Take Route 11 north of Winchester, turn left onto Sam Mason Road, follow signs. Call 703/667-7277. LOUDOUN COUNTY LOUDOUN NURSERY -- 20 miles west of Fairfax City. Open 1 to 4 Monday through Friday, 9 to 5 weekends. Scotch and white pine and blue spruce. Take U.S. 50 to Route 860, north two miles to farm. Call 703/327-6586. RAPPAHANNOCK COUNTY CHESTNUT HILLS FARM -- Amissville. Open 9 to 5 through December 23. White and Scotch pine, Norway spruce. From Warrenton take Route 211 west to Amissville, turn left onto Route 611 and continue 300 yards to farm on right. Call 703/937-5461. From Warrenton take Route 211 west to Amissville, left on Route 611 to farm on right. SHENANDOAH COUNTY DIETZ TREE FARMS -- Strasburg. Open morning to dark Friday through Sunday until December 23. Sheared White pine. Take I-66 to I-81, south to Route 11, south to Strasburg, left at Holiday Street, right at High Street. Call 703/569-4587. LUGAR'S TREE FARM -- near Woodstock. Open daily 10 to dark, except Wednesday. Douglas fir, Colorado blue spruce, white and Norway spruce, Scotch and white pine. Take I-81 to Woodstock, west on Route 604, right on Route 623, two miles to farm. Call 703/459-4893. UNCLE MILTIE'S TREE FARM -- Edinburg. Open 10 to 7, daily. White and Virginia pine. Take I-81 to U.S. 11 south to farm. Call 703/459-3319. WARREN COUNTY SKYLINE EVERGREEN FARM -- Bentonville. Open morning to dark, daily. Norway and white spruce, Scotch and white pine. From Front Royal, take Route 340 south 10 miles to Bentonville, then take Route 613 east two miles to farm. Call 703/635-4366.