Spring cleaning is usually a big mistake. To reorganize one drawer or room is to discover six more that need the same treatment.
But in this hovel they call my office, spring cleaning has unearthed a file that needs airing, in more ways than one. It contains more Perfect Fit Last Names (PFLNs for short) -- those monikers that describe a person's occupation to a T.
Ronald Yaffe of Columbia kicks things off with a dentist he frequents. His name is Byron Bonebreak.
The Arlington County Library Staff Association nominates one of its own: a woman who works at the central library named Joyce Booker.
A South Florida reader sends along an ad for a local hair stylist. His name is J. Baldi. Meanwhile, up in Steelton, Pa., there works a homebuilder named Harry House Sr., reports Sharman J. Monroe of Northeast.
Down in Accokeek, there's a fellow who's in the honey business. His name is Beaman Smith.
Two Washington lawyers fill the bill: Stephen Angle and Paul Diehl (thanks, Paul M. Feine, whose nominations certainly are).
Fair Is Fair Dept.: Joe Ritchie of our foreign desk points out that the weather is often glorious in the Far East. Therefore, The Washington Post is well served by its Asia editor, Lena Sun, and its Manila special correspondent, Abby Tan.
Patty Sturdevant of Southeast says she once had a bunion removed when she (and it) lived in Ridgewood, N.J. The surgeon? Dr. Calthrop Bump.
Barbara Pfeiffer of Laurel recalls a fellow up in Maine who drilled wells for a living. What else could he be called but Norman Drinkwater?
Yes, incredibly, there is a lawyer named Richard Moot (thanks, Murray Kamrass of Bethesda).
Back to doctors. There's one practicing in Northern Virginia named Norman Tacktill (muchas gracias, Susan Vavrick of Alexandria).
Esther Alpern of Glen Burnie passes along the name of her hair stylist. He's Alan Cutright (I hope he does, Esther!).
Rev. Donald Taylor of Rockville, who fixes up pain and suffering himself, couldn't help sending in the name of an Olney podiatrist. He's Stuart Aiken.
Perhaps this is the most P of all the PFLNs. Thanks, Grace-Louise Rickard of Silver Spring, for the name of Dr. Thomas A. Moneymaker of Arlington.
Too good to be true? I say it's too good not to include. Rosemary P. Smith of Kensington says there's a priest who resigned in order to marry a nun. His name is James Heretick.
In the car department, Lisa Ferrari married Michael Pinto one year ago today. "They are very happy, even though she traded down; a Ferrari for a Pinto!" writes Priscilla Ferrari of Falls Church, the proud mother (and mother-in-law).
How could I miss this one? The Baltimore Orioles' trainer, who spends much of his life soothing savage muscles, is Ralph Salvon (thanks, James Rust Gaarder of Kensington).
The school is the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, but everybody calls it MIT. "It wasn't until my husband had already graduated with his MS that it occurred to me how appropriate his choice of college was," writes a woman from Seabrook. Her husband's name is Floyd B. (Trip) Mitman III (she's Debbie).
Who sells perch and flounder at the market in Chincoteague, Va.? Russell Fish, of course (thanks, Paula Steinmetz of Great Falls, Va.).
Gary Klauber of College Park says he recently read an article in a technical journal called "Performance of Large-Diameter Wires as Discharge Electrodes in Electrostatic Precipitators." One of the authors was Leslie E. Sparks.
Selma Baron is still laughing over the letter she got from the chairman of the Department of Animal Sciences at The University of Vermont. He's Leonard S. Bull.
At the ABC Board regional offices in Alexandria, the receptionist is named Judy Beer (thanks much, Sue Bogan, of the same city).
Anne C. Fix is her name. You don't think she's in manufacturing, do you? Of course not. She's a software engineer from Laurel who finds computer bugs and makes them better.
Anne also reports a Toyota and Jaguar salesman up her way. He's Tommy Carr.
"While working as an aide to a congressman from Northern California, I wrote a letter commending a minister for 40 years of service to his congregation," writes David I. Korsh of Northeast. "His name: Pastor George Scripture."
Donald Bury is an undertaker in Ellenville, N.Y., reports John Finerty of Georgetown.
Dr. Seymour Wolf is a veterinarian in Arlington, notes Michael R. Codel, also of Arlington.
And since we must end with a bottom line, how better to do it than with Charles Cash, president of the First Virginia Bank of Woodstock, Va.? (submitted by Sarah S. Howard of Springfield).
If you have a PFLN that's too delicious to keep to yourself, don't you dare. Mail it to Bob Levey, The Washington Post, Washington, D.C. 20071.