If the thought of another Christmas in the Bahamas fails to excite, consider spending the holiday season touring the "ancient sensual sites" of India with sex maven Dr. Ruth Westheimer.
Dr. Ruth, the author, therapist and television personality, will lead her followers through meetings with government family-planning experts and authorities on tantra yoga and "other sensory/religious disciplines." There will also be visits to "the romantic Taj Mahal and sensual sculpture gardens including the Temple of Love," as Dr. Ruth's publicists state in a press release.
"Because it costs $7,000 a couple, it's probably going to be an older, upper-middle class audience," said Dr. Ruth's spokesman, Pierre Lehu. "I think people whose marriages may be getting a little boring will think this is the perfect spark for their relationship . . .
"Or if they were thinking of seeing a sex therapist, they may decide two weeks with Dr. Ruth Westheimer may give them a chance to get a little private advice."
Which, Lehu said, Dr. Ruth will be happy to provide.
"She's asked questions all the time, everywhere she goes," said Lehu. "She doesn't mind."
The 17-day "de luxe" Dr. Ruth trip costs $3,499 per person and includes a stop at Mathura, the birthplace of the Hindu god Krishna.
"Lord Krishna really knew how to fool around with ladies all the time," said tour planner Tiru Irani.
Reservations are being taken now. Only 60 Ruthophiles can go, but if you sign up too late, take hope. Next year, Dr. Ruth Goes to China.