It's called "Invasion USA," and if you can't figure out the rest, you probably haven't seen too many Chuck Norris movies.

The story proceeds as if Claire Sterling had whipped herself up into a particularly ferocious mood and decided to write a screenplay. An alliance of terrorists (led, of course, by the Russians) decides to launch a full frontal assault on America. Freedom, you see, has made us soft. The time is ripe.

What follows are a bunch of Norman Rockwell portraits of America -- kids decorating the Christmas tree, good churchgoing folk gathered around their pastor -- all of which the terrorists obligingly blow up. Obligingly, because now Matt Hunter (Norris), a spy who came in from the cold (to the point of living in the steamy Everglades), has an excuse to blow them up in return.

"Invasion USA" might actually be fun in a campy way if it weren't so dourly exploitative. If we didn't have a Pavlovian response to the Terrorist, or the One Good Man, shlockmeisters like producers Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus wouldn't make a movie like this. But because the response is so immediate, it hardly seems worth the bother to establish the characters -- you want to get straight to the good parts.

Which, alas, are not nearly good enough. The plot is mindlessly formulaic, the direction (by Joseph Zito) undistinguished and often confusing, the acting routine (with his fluffy blond coiffure and tinted eyebrows, Rostov the terrorist (Richard Lynch) stomps around like a hairdresser's assistant on a tear).

And while I'm sure, someday, the French will adopt Chuck Norris for his auteurist dedication to a single vision, there's really nothing there. Hunter's killer line -- which may have been contributed by Norris himself (he gets a screenwriting credit) -- is "It's time to die," the mere mention of which throws Rostov into a tizzy. By the fifth time you hear it, you wish Norris would start having some fun, perhaps announcing "It's time to die" with the cheeriness of Robert Young chortling "Margaret, I'm home!" in "Father Knows Best." But such playfulness is clearly beyond Norris, an actor whose most evocative facial expression is his beard.

Invasion USA, now at area theaters, is rated R and contains considerable violence, profanity and brief nudity.