THIS JUST IN: They're still gone.

MEMO TO PAT KLUGE: You can come home now.

A dearth of screaming crowds swept the area yesterday. An absent frenzy for dinner invitations seized the social lions of Washington. And at the White House, a loud and unruly sport coat was wrestled into the president's closet.

It was Departure Day Plus 1. Robert Redford had yet to show his disco moves to John Travolta. Joan Collins continued to upstage herself. But would Jack Kent Cooke still have picked the Dallas game over the Mellons?

Everywhere wistful possibility lingered in the air.

Whither glove-puppets?

Are the Carter Browns worried about where the next meal is coming from?

How does one get a Rolls-Royce off Wedgwood cups?

"We all feel a bit lost," said press officer Marianne Goss of the British Embassy, where the open bar in the briefing room was irrevocably closed. "We've got the blues. It's terribly boring to go back to unitary taxation."

BUT WAIT A MINUTE -- ROYAL FLASH!!!

YES, THEY'RE COMING BACK!!!

Harvard University announced yesterday that Prince Charles will speak at Harvard's 350th anniversary celebration next Sept. 4. A university spokesman said Diana may accompany.

Only 294 days to go!