Kidney Beans Ablaze

Set your tastebuds on fire at the 7th Annual D.C. Chili Cookoff from 11 to 6 Saturday in Georgetown. K Street beneath the Whitehurst Freeway will be blocked off so you can torch your tongue with samples from 50 area cooks who'll be judged by the International Chili Society. The victor wins a trip to the world championship in California. There'll also be contests to see how many jalapeno peppers and chili dogs you can eat (deejay The Greaseman presides). The day's entertainment includes Downtown, winners of this year's Washington Area Music Award for best band. They'll serve up tunes beginning at 3:15. Admission is $2; chili samples cost around a buck each. Proceeds benefit the National Kidney Foundation. 337-6600. Pan Pacific

Americans of Asian descent celebrate the 8th Annual American Pacific Heritage Festival Saturday from 11:30 to 5 at the Washington Monument grounds. Among the ethnic groups represented are Japanese, Korean, East Indian and Hawaiian. There'll be folk music and dancing on the Sylvan Theater stage. Nearby you can also visit a Taiwanese fortune teller, eat traditional foods and see kite-making, vegetable-carving and calligraphy demonstrations. Everything but the food and drink is free. 893-1880. Monking Around

Jazz pianist and composer Thelonius Monk is celebrated in a concert by area musicians Sunday at 7:30 in Baird Auditorium. Among the performers are the Allen Houser Sextet, the Virginia Commonwealth University Jazz Orchestra and vocalist Ronnie Wells. Smithsonian jazz historian Martin Williams narrates part of the show. Tickets, $12, are limited and available by calling 357-3030. Television Treats

If you want to get out this weekend but stay tuned to television, try a little remote control.

*Dance your way to Hollywood at the Dance Fever auditions at Champions in Georgetown. Sunday night beginning at 8, couples 18 and older can perform a two-minute dance routine to the tape or record of their choice (There's a second audition next weekend). It's all free, and winners advance to the final auditions on June 1, when several couples will win roundtrip tickets to Hollywood. Champions is at 1206 Wisconsin Avenue NW. 965-4005.

*Wild World hosts a Soap Opera Festival Sunday, with shows at 2 and 5. Frank Runyan (Steve Andropolous of "As the World Turns") and Michael O'Leary (Rick Bauer of "Guiding Light") will talk about the biz, what it's like to be a soap star, answer questions and give autographs in each show. The sessions will be taped for a national television show called "Daytime Lovers." Admission is $6 and includes park admission. 249-1500.

*The Doctor Who Traveling Exhibit, a 48-foot van honoring the longest-running science fiction show in television history, opens with an appearance by actor Peter Davison Friday at 11. Among the memorabilia will be original costumes and a replica of the doctor's time-travel craft. The free exhibit, sponsored by Channel 26, is parked outside the Museum of American History between 14th and 15th streets on Constitution Avenue NW and is open from 10 to 9 Friday through Sunday. 998-2600. Mother's Day

You might want to do something other than fix mom breakfast in bed this Mother's Day. A few options.

*The Alexandria Choral Society will sing a message to mom, either by phone ($15) or in person in the Washington area ($25). You can choose from such songs as "You Are My Sunshine," "Mother Machree" and, what else but, "M-o-t-h-e-r." To order, call 768-5821 before 10 p.m. on Saturday.

*At the Castle Arts Center, the play fits the day with mom at the center of the plot in The Quilters. Mothers are admitted free to the 2 o'clock matinee when accompanied by a son or daughter. The Castle is at 5340 Baltimore Avenue in Hyattsville. Admission for non-mothers is $9.50; $7.50 students and seniors. 277-6122. Rest of the Best IN TOWN

Punk bands Beefeater, Dag Nasty and In Pieces appear in concert Friday at 8 at Georgetown University's Hall of Nations, 36th and Prospect streets NW. Tickets, $4, are available at the door and benefit Sasha Bruce Youthwork. 546-6807 . . . Irish tenor Frank Patterson performs at the Kennedy Center Concert Hall Friday at 8:30. Tickets, $5 to $21.50, are available by calling 432-0200 . . . The Source Theater gives a free performance of Macbeth Saturday at 1:30 in Room A-5 of the Martin Luther King Library, 901 G Street NW. 727-1281 . . . National Symphony associate conductor and pianist Andrew Litton performs works by Rossini, Mozart and Poulenc with the Capitol Woodwind Quintet Sunday at 3 in Dumbarton Methodist Church, 3133 Dumbarton Avenue NW. Tickets are $5; $4 for students. 790-9425. IN MARYLAND

There'll be traditional music, dance and food at the 13th Annual Greek Village Festival Friday through Sunday from noon to 9 at the Greek Orthodox Church of Saint George, 7701 Bradley Boulevard in Bethesda. Free. 469-7990 . . . The 6th Annual Laurel Main Street Fair offers 400 craftsmen, ethnic food and continuous street entertainment Saturday from 10 to 5. Free. 490-7770 . . . 35 dealers offer English, American and Asian pieces at the 4th Annual Baltimore Antiques Show at the Baltimore Museum of Art, Art Museum Drive. Hours are Friday from 11 to 8; Saturday and Sunday, 11 to 6. $5. 301/396-7101 . . . Saturday is the 10th Annual Marlboro Day in Upper Marlboro. A free shuttle runs from the Prince George's Equestrian Center (off Route 4) into town, where there'll be cloggers, mimes, barbershop quartets, crafts and food. It's free and from 10 to 5. 292-9006 . . . The Frederick Festival of the Arts is Saturday from 10 to 8 at Baker Park in downtown Frederick. There'll be continuous live music, crafts, poetry readings, food and dance. Free. 301/663-8703. IN VIRGINIA

Artisans, musicians, cloggers and wine tasting will be on tap Saturday from 10 to 5 at the Heartland of Virginia Wine Festival, where the public can visit the grounds of the James and Dolley Madison home on the Montpelier Estate, Route 20, 4 miles south of Orange. Admission is $7; $3 for those under 21. 703/547-3709.