Well! It seems now that no matter what the woman's son has said, Prince Rainier of Monaco is not planning to wed German-born society figure Princess Ira von Furstenberg. In fact, a palace official said the 64-year-old monarch, who had been married to Grace Kelly, will "absolutely not" marry the twice-divorced, 47-year-old princess.

Von Furstenberg was first married at the age of 15. Her son, 31-year-old Christoff Hohenlohe, was quoted in the London Sunday tabloid The Mail as saying that the couple would be married before the end of the year in a quiet ceremony in Monaco. There has been considerable speculation in the tabloids about Rainier's loneliness since Kelly died in an auto accident in 1982. Settling the current speculation, von Furstenberg issued a statement saying, "I reject the irresponsible declarations made by my son ... with whom I have for several years been forced painfully to sever all links." She said she found his spreading such information "both deplorable and arbitrary."

A Freshman Learns His Lesson

A politician never knows what's going to cause him trouble with his constituents. That's why politicians are as paranoid as they are. Rep. Fred Grandy, famous in that faceless group of freshmen congressmen for starring on the television show "Love Boat," agreed to do an advertising testimonial for The Washingtonian magazine, and it's causing problems back home in Iowa.

One wouldn't think The Washingtonian would have much circulation in Iowa, or that with all the presidential pretenders stomping through the pig farms and cornfields anyone would care what appeared in the magazine. In the unpaid, promotional, full-page photograph, Grandy is quoted as saying the best way to stay on top of things is to read The Washingtonian. Iowa Democrats have sent Grandy a subscription to Iowa Magazine, pointing out he should keep up on Iowa's issues. And an official from the Iowa Republican Party called The Washingtonian to find out who else had done similar ads, such as Sen. William Proxmire and Rep. Lindy Boggs. Grandy, however, is not commenting on the matter.

Out and About

For the past several days rumors have been circulating that Vice President George Bush has had a long-term affair. There were even jokes that the Democrats were now worried that Bush's having an affair would give him some personality and voter appeal. Yesterday, White House spokesman Marlin Fitzwater termed all such gossip as "foolish." There were references to the rumor in both the current Newsweek and U.S. News & World Report magazines, and there were rumors last week that the story was soon to break. The vice president's oldest son, George Jr., told Newsweek he approached his father to ask about the rumors and Bush replied, "They're just not true." The younger Bush then added, "The answer to the Big A {adultery} question is N.O." ...

Former White House chief of staff Donald Regan, the man to whom Nancy Reagan took a strong dislike, seems to have disappeared from sight around town since leaving the president's employ. Wall Street Journal reporters Jeffrey Birnbaum and Alan Murray have written a book called "Showdown at Gucci Gulch" about the defeat of the special interests in the tax bill of 1986. To their surprise Regan has said he will attend tomorrow's "Gucci Gulch" book party in the House Ways and Means Committee room, where the bill was hammered out. What with his appearance at last night's William Casey tribute (see Page D1), the week is shaping up as something of a coming out for Regan ...

Ms. Magazine is getting its revenge. It has singled out the 15 dumbest men in America and leads off with extremist politician Lyndon LaRouche. He is followed by Gary Hart, who "can't tell his back door from his front door." Then comes President Reagan for getting "government off the backs of corporations and into the wombs of women." The others on the list are Attorney General Edwin Meese, presidential hopeful Rep. Jack Kemp, fallen evangelist Jim Bakker, conservative fundraiser Howard Phillips, Sen. John Warner, Donald Regan, Commission on Civil Rights Chairman Clarence Pendleton Jr., Lt. Col. Oliver North, Alabama Judge W. Brevard Hand, Georgia Attorney General Michael Bowers, "preppie murder" suspect Robert Chambers and Arizona Gov. Evan Mecham ...