(While on vacation Art Buchwald received limited immunity, and the special prosecutor has allowed him to reprint some of his favorite columns.)
We are all going through a period of adjustment in our thinking in this country. The things we grew up believing in do not necessarily hold true anymore, and the sooner we face up to reality, the healthier this nation will be. Here are some of the truisms that no longer are valid.
Congress is an equal branch of government.
All the Europeans want from us is our American dollars.
Teach a man a trade and he can get a job.
If you live in the country, you don't have to lock your doors.
A woman's place is in the home.
What every town needs is lots of industry.
The best school is the one nearest you.
Everyone in the United States has to pay taxes.
An American president cannot get us into a war without the approval of Congress.
If you treat children like grown-ups, they'll behave like grown-ups.
Most doctors make house calls.
You can have a happy marriage if you take Geritol.
Only perverts go to X-rated movies.
You can have a good day if you eat a healthy breakfast.
If you go to college, you'll make something of yourself.
Your children will support you in your old age.
Social Security is enough to live on when you reach 65.
All policemen are honest.
Baseball is the national sport.
Oil is the best form of heating.
You can't live in a world where half the people are enslaved.
The First Amendment protects the press.
The way to a man's heart is through his stomach.
The best things in life are free.
The law of the land is the law of the land.
The public has a right to know.
If you go outside, you'll get a breath of fresh air.
The attorney general of the United States represents all the people.
America has the best postal service in the world.
Teachers never strike.
If you work hard, your fellow union workers will admire you.
What's good for General Motors is good for the country.
Women who enjoy sex are sick.
If you save the Defense Department money, you are automatically promoted.
The United States plans to escort Kuwaiti tankers only in time of war.
The president knows what is going on in the White House.
1987, Los Angeles Times Syndicate