The gender-bender "He's My Girl" is all cross-dressed up with nowhere to go. It's a farce so stale the only thing to do is make croutons.

A TV movie maker who has concentrated on "issue" dramas, director Gabrielle Beaumont shows not a shred of aptitude for comedy here. Neither do Taylor Ames and Charles F. Bohl, the writers of this tacky little screenplay, a "Some Like It Tepid" for teen audiences.

T.K. Carter plays the dual role of Reggie/Regina, giving a performance inspired by (or is it borrowed from?) Flip Wilson's adorable Geraldine. Only Flip was funny. Carter, a persistent camera hog, is overbearing as this galoot of a funny girl. The Reggie character is more sympathetic, but Carter upstages even himself.

Reggie, best friend and manager of a singer/songwriter named Bryan, wins a trip for two to Hollywood using Bryan's name. Alas, it looks like he'll have to stay home because the contest rules stipulate a girl-boy couple. That's when Reggie shaves his legs and buys a bouffant wig, and it's off to the coast as Bryan's girl.

David Hallyday, a blond Michael J. Fox, is the bland contrast to Carter's berserk gender joking. As the rock-star-in-waiting Bryan, he falls in love with a winsome waitress (Jennifer Tilly, a rather intriguing new face). Then Reggie falls in love with their contest tour guide (Misha McK.) and the host of the teen TV show that sponsored the contest falls in love with Regina. The rest you know.

Anyway you look at it, it's like something the cat dragged home. He's My Girl, at area theaters, is rated PG-13 for profanity.