Everybody knows there are plenty of crooks on Wall Street. You don't have to go looking for them. But in the hopelessly dopey "Hiding Out," a stockbroker becomes the reluctant hero when he agrees to testify against some money-mad mobster marketeers. Jon Cryer plays the broker, Andrew, a smarmy yuppie who first flees his responsibilities -- and two hit men -- when he takes refuge in a suburban high school.

Cryer shaves his beard, borrows a coat from a bum, bleaches his hair, takes up with a coed, and voila`, he's doing a boy's version of "Peggy Sue Got Married." Unlike that fanciful fiction, "Hiding Out" is a boring mix of bland comedy, ho-hum suspense and a romance that might constitute statutory rape were Andrew less mindful of the laws.

Annabeth Gish, who had an impressive debut as the inge'nue in "Desert Bloom," plays the love interest Ryan as fully as possible, given her shallow part. Cryer, a talented comedic actor, struggles mightily but can't wring laughs from the lowbrow humor. Joke example: When offered a drink by Ryan's father, he asks for a Scotch and soda.

The screenplay, written by Jeff Rothberg and Joe Menosky, is statically directed by Bob Giraldi, a maker of Michael Jackson videos and Pepsi-Cola ads, in his faint feature debut. Hiding Out, at area theaters, is rated PG-13 and contains offcolor humor.