Dear Night Writer: Isn't there some bar where I can have a nice happy-hour drink, maybe dance a little and expect to meet a guy on my own level -- someone who neither drives a truck nor interns in some congressman's office? I'm sick of the meat markets, and I'm too old for Georgetown. -- Wuppie (Warily Upwardly Mobile)

Dear Wup: Maybe you should consider upward mobility as a kind of art that can only be purified through suffering. Or maybe you should start casing the newfangled "specials" nights at some clubs.

Promotions are a bar's bread-and-butter, to mix a metaphor; but the increasing number of consciousness-raising campaigns, MADD and SADD and BADD (yes, even Bartenders), have led some watering holes to tone down the traditional happy hours and twofers. And the anti-Ladies Night discrimination suit that made Silver Spring's Woodside Deli a "Hollywood Squares" joke has a few other spots skirting that issue.

But where there's a thrill . . . Impulse, the just-opened nightclub in the Grand Hyatt downtown has launched a series of upscale specials aimed at pulling in the professional crowds (and possibly solving the question of a singles bar even a mother could love).

A few weeks ago Impulse sent out flyers to local banks, inviting employees to belly up for a "$2 bill." December 8 will be Doctors' and Nurses' Night ("the first shot is free") and this Tuesday is Lawyers' Night ("wear your best briefs").

Four of the area's prominent pinstripers -- including Donald B. Craven, managing partner of Miller & Chevalier, and Burt Halprin of Dewey Ballantine -- will serve time as celebrity bartenders, donating their tips to favorite charities. The usual $5 cover charge will be waived for those who have already passed the big bar.

On the other hand, if your physical credentials are up to rather rigorous scrutiny, you might want to check out Today's Restaurant inside the Holiday Spa-ESPRE Centre on Rockville Pike. Today's, which has a first-class bar, is actually an independent operation open to the public. It's perched above the running track with clear views of the racquetball rooms, the swimming pool and the free weights (not all club members are upward, but they're definitely mobile).

Incidentally, ESPRE is short for Experiential, Sociological, Physiological and Recreational Exercise -- is any of that on your level?