Washington isn't a lot of fun for most political wives, and just how unfunny it can be is the subject of a new Cosmopolitan magazine article by Sandra McElwaine titled "The Awful Life of a Political Wife." Political wives have told her some intimate, revealing tales. Arlene Crane, wife of Rep. Philip Crane, says, for example: "If you don't come to Washington with a very solid marriage and aren't madly in love, I'll put money on it you won't leave Washington married."

Of sex and political groupies, Roscoe Dellums, wife of Rep. Ron Dellums, says, "There's something about a title and a special license plate that's seductive." And one unidentified former senator's wife told McElwaine: "It takes a strong man and a strong marriage to resist temptation." The problem congressional wives complained of most is loss of identity. Another senator's ex-wife -- also not identified -- said that when she divorced her husband, he smugly told her, "When you die, your obituary won't list your name. It will say the ex-wife of Senator So-and-So."

Out and About

The Hollywood Women's Press Club has announced the nominees for this year's Golden Apple Awards -- given by the club annually to the most cooperative and friendly Hollywood stars -- and for the less coveted Sour Apple Award, which goes to the least friendly star. Those in the former category are Corbin Bernsen, Michael Caine, Michael Douglas, James Garner, James Woods and Rob Reiner. The Sour Apple nominees will surprise no one: Jackie Collins, Don Johnson and Bruce Willis ...

Willis obviously isn't a sour apple to actress Demi Moore. Saturday the actor married her in a private ceremony in Las Vegas ...

Irish pop singer Bob Geldof, who put together the Live Aid concert, which helped raise millions of dollars for famine victims in Africa, will return to Ethiopia next week to call attention to the onset of another famine there. Geldof, once the leader of a Dublin band called the Boomtown Rats, has been honored repeatedly for his famine-relief efforts. On this trip, he is planning to spend 10 days traveling in the most severely affected areas in northern Ethiopia. Experts are saying the East African nation is headed for a crisis at least as tragic as the disaster of 1984-85 in which hundreds of thousands died of hunger and disease ...

Robert H. Bork Jr., the 32-year-old son of President Reagan's ill-fated nominee to the Supreme Court, has been named a visiting journalism fellow at the Heritage Foundation, a conservative think tank. Bork, a U.S. News & World Report associate editor, is taking leave from the magazine to write a book about the political battle that prevented his father from becoming a justice of the Supreme Court ...

Hospital Report: Retired House speaker Thomas (Tip) O'Neill is reported in good condition and "progressing nicely" at Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston. "He's been sitting up and doing a bit of walking around," a hospital spokesman said yesterday. While he is recovering from an operation last week to remove a malignant rectal tumor, a decision will probably be made about when the 74-year-old O'Neill will undergo surgery for his continuing prostate problem. It was while he was hospitalized here for examination of the prostate condition that therectal cancer was discovered ...

It's the thought that counts, but cash can't hurt. John Napoleon LaCorte, a Brooklyn millionaire, has an idea to slow down high teen-age pregnancy rates. He's offering high school girls in three New York City boroughs $1,000 each if they remain virgins through the age of 19. And he's allotted $100,000 to fund the program in Brooklyn, Queens and Staten Island. As to how to be certain the girls have obeyed the rules, LaCorte told the New York Daily News that they would simply have to submit to a medical test. Asked why boys aren't part of the program, he said, "It is very difficult to test young boys to determine if they are virgins" ...