NEW YORK -- The news of 1987 may have seemed sensational enough, but consider the amazing events that didn't happen.
It was supposed to be the year Johnny Carson fired Ed McMahon on the air, President Reagan suffered a stroke, Jane Fonda became an astronaut and divers opened a vault from the wreck of the Titanic where they found the perfectly preserved body of a two-foot-tall UFO alien.
At least, that's what the psychics told readers of the supermarket tabloids to expect.
But if the accuracy of those predictions is any indication, the average psychic might have trouble predicting tomorrow's date.
One year ago, the psychics weren't mentioning Jim and Tammy Bakker, Oral Roberts' sojourn in the prayer tower, the U.S.-Soviet arms treaty or the stock market meltdown.
Instead, the "10 Leading Psychics" of the National Enquirer were predicting that three jets would collide near a Southern city, Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev would be seriously wounded in a May 1 assassination attempt, and Prince Charles would bend spoons with his mind.
The Enquirer's experts also forecast that the mayor of a large U.S. city would be reelected after a sex-change operation, and that Moammar Gadhafi would be shot by bodyguards in a coup attempt, leaving him paralyzed from the waist down and driving him out of office.
Not to be outdone, the psychics in the Globe said Gadhafi would be taken prisoner and "tortured by his own terrorists."
Prince Rainier and Jackie Onassis would announce their engagement, Prince Andrew's wife Sarah, known as Fergie, would give birth to twin red-headed girls, and the CIA would "discover four alien bodies near a crashed UFO in a Central American country."
The Globe's seers also foresaw the death of Fidel Castro, a new arthritis cure, public fascination with Jell-O beds, and the return of all the American hostages in Lebanon by an American-Israeli commando team.
The National Examiner's elite team of top psychics and clairvoyants said that Islamic fundamentalists would deliberately blind themselves after a French magazine published nude photos of the Ayatollah Khomeini "taken at a wild bash while he was in exile in France."
In addition, those psychics saw "Wheel of Fortune" star Vanna White becoming governor of Puerto Rico and millions of terrified New Yorkers fleeing their city in panic after "hordes of giant, man-eating worms are set loose by bulldozers digging foundations for a new building."
The Star's psychic, Jeane Dixon, forecast hormone treatments that cut the rate of heart attacks in half, revolutionary new plastics, and slow but sure success for Joan Rivers, who instead got sacked from her talk show job.
Despite their abysmal scorecards, the psychics are still making their predictions, perhaps relying on the fact that most people won't remember what they had predicted for 1987.