What if yuppies took over Nashville? Inglenook would displace Budweiser, and Reeboks would unseat cowboy boots. But what would happen to country music song titles? I asked my readers for some guesses. Here are some of the best:

"They Done Me Wrong When They Did Lunch" (Gisela Vallandigham of Fairfax.)

"She Ran Around Like a Free-Range Chicken" (Gisela again.)

"Our PCs Just Ain't Compatible Any More" (Stan Gertzman of Silver Spring.)

"You're the Virus in My Software" (Stan again.)

"For My Wife I Didn't Care, So I Bolted With Our Au Pair" (Anita Sweeney of Northwest.)

"When Our Carts Bumped in the Social Safeway, Our Hearts Weren't Far Behind" (Mike Mills of Northwest.)

"I Passed My Stress Test This Morning but Flunked My Date With You Tonight" (Nick Olcott of Southeast.)

"Cold Wine Cooler for a Cold Man Fooler" (Jimmy Smith of Northwest.)

"When I Call You on My Car Phone, All I Get's a Voice That's Deep" (Harvey LaMontagne of Bethesda.)

"I Couldn't Hear Her Cryin' Through the Walkman on My Ears" (Jill Germain of Arlington.)

"You Tear Up That Credit Card Carbon the Same Way You Tore Up My Heart" (Kathleen Hughes of Bowie.)

"All Alone in My Condo 'Cause There's No Room for Me in the Filofax of Your Heart" (Laura Noell of Chevy Chase.)

"My Garage Door Opener Won't Send the Right Signal to Open Up Your Heart" (Mitch McNeely of Fairfax.)

"My 280-Z Leaks All Over My Blonde Streaks Since You Took the Concorde and Blew" (Mickey Chantal of Northwest.)

"Since I Interfaced With You, All My Networkin' Days Are Thru" (Don Uelmen of Arlington.)

"My Cholesterol Is Climbin' Since My Baby Took the Bran and Jogged Out of My Life" (Ginny Heyward of Manassas.)

"My Rolex Ain't Tickin, My Beemer Just Won't Run, Ever Since You Left Me, Honeybun" (Steve Whatley of Northwest.)

"My Quiche Is Gettin' Soggy From the Tears I Shed for You" (Dick Stockinger of Arlington.)

"You've Lost Your Giggle and Your Wiggle, and Your Chivas Isn't Regal Any More" (Vance Garnett of Northwest.)

"When You Started Wearing Dockers, That's When I Knew My Ship Came In" (Anna Masulli of Fairfax.)

"My Health Club Honey Took My Money So I'm Weighin' Back in With You" (Carol Treglia of Woodbridge.)

"Mail Order Bride From L.L. Bean" (Tim Westmoreland of Southeast.)

"You Can Nibble Sushi on My Futon Any Time" (David M. Lewis Jr. of Springfield.)

"Mamas Don't Letcha Babies Grow Up to Sell Amway" (Sally Marburg of Northwest.)

"You're Icin' Up My Hot Tub With Your Cold, Cold Heart" (Nancy L. Peters of Arlington.)

"When You Slammed My Yellow Tie in Your Volvo Door, I Knew You Wouldn't Splash in My Jacuzzi No More" (Peg Van Vlack of Fairfax.)

"Once More We'll Tan Together in the Club Med of Our Dreams" (Art Gamson of Chevy Chase.)

"Blackened Redfish Sure Ain't Catfish, and You Ain't Trollin' in My Waters No More" (Bill Miller of Oakton.)

"Short on Stocks, but Long on You" (Harmon Bassett of Northwest.)

"They Ain't Never Taught in Law School What You Teach Me Every Night" (Janetta Hamilton of Northeast.)

"I've Got a Huge IRA, but My Love's DOA" (Hazel Simpson of Bethesda.)

"My Mommy's on the Mommy Track, So, So Long, Pardner!" (Fiona Dana Lessans of Northwest.)

"Your Cheatin' Accountant" (Leslie Goodman-Malamuth of Northwest.)

For dessert, the complete lyrics to "Them Cleveland Park North Blues," also from Leslie:

The au pair eloped with a sailor, my daughter shaved her head

Since that tick bit me in the Hamptons, I'm too weak to get out of bed

(Chorus) Ooooh, baby, I'm feeling so stressed-out, baby, just totally stressed out, just feeling so stressed-out I could cry

Some diplomat smacked the Audi, left a thousand-dollar dent

My real estate assessment's up fifty-eight percent


My cholesterol's over 300, my Gold Card's no good no more

My comb's got much more hair in it than it ever did before


I want to end it all, babe. No angst, no pain, no fear

But I can't find a free day in my Filofax till sometime next year